Who needs older brothers when you have MY older brothers for a father or an uncle?
I went to St George for Labor Day weekend this year. When I go there I stay with my brother Nolan his wife Treo and their two cute kids. Their house fits their family, but when I visit I sleep in the living room, which is fine I could sleep anywhere and not be bothered (even though this is an early to rise family, and I'm... not so much an early to rise...r).
During my last visit, my first night there Nolan grabbed a sleeping pad and was going to put the sheets on it, but Jaylee, his oldest daughter (3) was playing on the pad and didn't want to get off. So Nolan took the fitted sheet and put it over her and the sleeping pad. We sat back, smiled and watched the struggle as she tossed and turned under the sheet to try to free herself. She was having fun, but I turned to Nolan and said, "You see? These are the things she's going to remember when she's older and tells people why she's claustrophobic." and we laughed as Nolan said, "Seriously, I'd be FREAKING OUT if that were me."
I had realized this before, but I blame my claustrophobia, as well as my sister's on our brothers doing crap like that to us, and now they pass that on to their children. Being an "older brother" doesn't stop once the title changes to father. Maybe it's simply being a dude.
My next example comes from reading my sister's blog. She posted pictures from when my brother Justin went to visit and play with the kids. He had taken this headband or some sort of stretchy something. Took Leila's arms behind her back and put the stretchy something around them, so she couldn't bring them forward. Then sat back and laughed as she tried to free herself. She's ONE! Then Jace, her older brother, saw this and wanted to have his arms trapped. So Justin did the same thing to him. Jace is 6 now, and it didn't take long before he realized he was in fact trapped and just started crying to get free. Just as, I'm sure, his mother would have reacted if she realized her arms were trapped.
Seeing these things made me think back on all the times my brothers have done these things to me. Watching Justin sit over Jennie, with one hand hold both of her hands above her head, and with the other tickle her. This got so bad that if Justin would just approach her even pretending to do it, she would immediately burst into tears.
I also think of the times when they would take the bar from the bench press, they would put the BIGGEST weights on it, and as many as they could, then they would lay us down and put the bar over our necks. It was high enough that it wouldn't touch our necks, but low enough that we couldn't slide under it, and heavy enough that we couldn't lift it, and then they would turn the lights off and leave the room.
You may have laughed at that. It's funny, sure. BUT PEOPLE big brothers doing stuff like this causes SERIOUS issues later on. Claustrophobia is a real, terrifying thing. My aunt Robin has it thanks to her brothers (my dad included) I have it thanks to my brothers. My nieces and nephews will have it, even if they don't have older brothers because they have dads and uncles.
Boys are mean!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Benjamin Button-itis
I've noticed in my life that the older I get the younger people think I am. (Not a bad deal) My whole life people always thought I was older (sometimes much MUCH older) than I actually was. These are a few examples, some are pretty extreme and will seem untrue, but I tell you now, everything you are about to read is 100% true.
Age 12 I was at Academy for Girls (EFY but for the younger ages) we went to an old folk's home and I was helping and elderly lady make a hanger for her doorknob, and she said to me something along the lines of, "Things are so difficult once you get to my age, it's so nice to have you young people come and help... how old are you? 20? 30?" This is where it all started.
When I was 16 I sang at my cousin Shad's wedding. My cousin Marissa was there with her daughters. Her daughter Kierra was 6 months old. I LOVED holding her all the time. At the wedding Kierra was sleeping in my arms and this lady came up to me, and said how beautiful she was, followed by, "That is such a bonding time for mother and child, when they sleep in your arms." I didn't want to embarrass her so I just said, "Yeah..."
Next example: When I was 17, a senior in high school. I was taking a class called Elementary tutoring. I was planning on being a teacher and in this class I would go to an Elementary school and basically was an aid in the 2nd grade class. Toward the end of the school year they were doing a talent show. At this point I had bonded with the kids and they really wanted me to go. So I went and sat amongst the parents. One lady turned to me and said, "Which one is yours?" I just looked at her in shock and said, "I'm 17! I'm the aid for this class." Really lady did I look old enough to have an 8 year old?
That same year(this is where it starts to get crazy) My sister was cheering for the University of Utah. I drove her to her practice in the morning and they had some sort of orientation so I stayed to watch. At the end of the practice Jennie came up to me. Keep in mind she was 19 at the time, and again, I was 17. We talked for a bit and then she walked away, and this older lady came up to me and said, "Are you the mom?" SERIOUSLY!!!! I looked at her in SUCH disgust and said, "I'm her YOUNGER sister!!!" to which she replied. "Well that's nice." I was pretty upset... I get that I look older than I am, but old enough to have a 19 year old daughter???
A few years later I was talking to an RS president in my single's ward. She asked me how old I was and I said, "21" she was shocked and said, "Really I thought you were my age." I remember being totally appalled at that as she was 27 (I think about that all the time now as I am now 27... do 21 year olds still think 27 is SO OLD???).
A couple years later. I was at work and it was my birthday. This guy who came into my office somewhat regularly said, "So how old are you... 24... 25?" I said, "Oh I'm 23.." Smile turned to shock on his face. "Oh... I was kidding... I thought you were... older." It was then that I realized he was trying to be flattering by obviously guessing way younger than he thought I actually was.
And finally. The story to end all. When I was 21 my sister and I were at a restaurant. I was holding her 6 month old son Jace. A lady (obviously old and senile) came to us and said how cute he was and asked who the mother was. I pointed at Jennie and just smiled. Then she looked at me and said, "And you're the grandma?" Right away, Jennie nearly choked on her laughter. I just looked at her and said, "No"
As I said though, the older I get the younger people think I am now. Someone guessed yesterday that I was 20-21, according to these stories the last time I would have looked that age would have been like 10. I have some ideas as to why, but the drastic-ousity of the guesses still surprise me.
Age 12 I was at Academy for Girls (EFY but for the younger ages) we went to an old folk's home and I was helping and elderly lady make a hanger for her doorknob, and she said to me something along the lines of, "Things are so difficult once you get to my age, it's so nice to have you young people come and help... how old are you? 20? 30?" This is where it all started.
When I was 16 I sang at my cousin Shad's wedding. My cousin Marissa was there with her daughters. Her daughter Kierra was 6 months old. I LOVED holding her all the time. At the wedding Kierra was sleeping in my arms and this lady came up to me, and said how beautiful she was, followed by, "That is such a bonding time for mother and child, when they sleep in your arms." I didn't want to embarrass her so I just said, "Yeah..."
Next example: When I was 17, a senior in high school. I was taking a class called Elementary tutoring. I was planning on being a teacher and in this class I would go to an Elementary school and basically was an aid in the 2nd grade class. Toward the end of the school year they were doing a talent show. At this point I had bonded with the kids and they really wanted me to go. So I went and sat amongst the parents. One lady turned to me and said, "Which one is yours?" I just looked at her in shock and said, "I'm 17! I'm the aid for this class." Really lady did I look old enough to have an 8 year old?
That same year(this is where it starts to get crazy) My sister was cheering for the University of Utah. I drove her to her practice in the morning and they had some sort of orientation so I stayed to watch. At the end of the practice Jennie came up to me. Keep in mind she was 19 at the time, and again, I was 17. We talked for a bit and then she walked away, and this older lady came up to me and said, "Are you the mom?" SERIOUSLY!!!! I looked at her in SUCH disgust and said, "I'm her YOUNGER sister!!!" to which she replied. "Well that's nice." I was pretty upset... I get that I look older than I am, but old enough to have a 19 year old daughter???
A few years later I was talking to an RS president in my single's ward. She asked me how old I was and I said, "21" she was shocked and said, "Really I thought you were my age." I remember being totally appalled at that as she was 27 (I think about that all the time now as I am now 27... do 21 year olds still think 27 is SO OLD???).
A couple years later. I was at work and it was my birthday. This guy who came into my office somewhat regularly said, "So how old are you... 24... 25?" I said, "Oh I'm 23.." Smile turned to shock on his face. "Oh... I was kidding... I thought you were... older." It was then that I realized he was trying to be flattering by obviously guessing way younger than he thought I actually was.
And finally. The story to end all. When I was 21 my sister and I were at a restaurant. I was holding her 6 month old son Jace. A lady (obviously old and senile) came to us and said how cute he was and asked who the mother was. I pointed at Jennie and just smiled. Then she looked at me and said, "And you're the grandma?" Right away, Jennie nearly choked on her laughter. I just looked at her and said, "No"
As I said though, the older I get the younger people think I am now. Someone guessed yesterday that I was 20-21, according to these stories the last time I would have looked that age would have been like 10. I have some ideas as to why, but the drastic-ousity of the guesses still surprise me.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Family Dynamics
Over the years through meetings lots of different families I have noticed something. Every family as something that they bond over. Something that when they get together for dinner or whatever, helps them to connect with each other. For some of my friends that would be, intelligent conversation, whether it be politics, current events, what have you. Other friends it's who is the best at whatever, taking turns telling stories of grandeur and one upping each other. For my family it's making each other laugh. Who can get to the joke first? Who can make fun of the person the fastest? Every time we get together we spend the majority of the evening laughing SO HARD!
Some of the things that make us laugh the hardest is when someone tells what should be a funny story that doesn't translate like they should and someone else calling them out on it. Personal example. I heard this hilarious story, when I heard it I laughed so hard for so long it got pretty awkward as the person I was with just sat there waiting patiently for me to stop. I can tell a good story so at a family dinner I re-told it. I didn't get the laugh I was wanting, so as my laugh faded out I said, "Oh man I laughed so hard when _____ told me." Without skipping a beat my brother Dane says, "So he told it better than you then?" And the family roared with laughter.
Another thing that gets us going is the person who keeps a joke going one step longer than it should. We can take a word or a saying or a joke and spin it into so many different jokes after each one laughing just as hard as the first, but there is a time limit on this. HEAVEN FORBID you be the person that tells the joke that crosses that time line and turns the focus on you and your idiocy, starting a new round of joking.
We are a family that likes to use ridiculous words for sport, such as, "progrum" "'twixt" "unbeknownst" (which as of yesterday led to "beknownst" and "knownst". However we are grammar sticklers (more in the form of speaking, not typing) I remember one night we were talking about words that drive us crazy like "irregardless". My brother Justin said, "I know it's like the word 'always'. 'Always' isn't a word... it's 'Alway...' (this is the point that he realized he wasn't thinking of the word "always" he was thinking of the word "anyways". We all had a hay-day with that one.
One thing that sucks when it happens to you, but is awesome when you do it is stealing someone's joke. There was one time we were sitting around the table telling stories as we always end up doing and through the boisterous conversation I said something that was HILARIOUS, but due to the volume no one but my brother Dane heard it. Realizing his opportunity, he didn't laugh at my awesome joke either, if he had he wouldn't be able to use it. Instead he waited a second and when it had quieted down he repeated it verbatim. The table went wild with his hilarity. Through everyone's laughter and my dismay, he looks over at me and quietly said, "You see what I did there?" Totally getting the credit for my joke. (Same thing happened to me last night but the joke stealer didn't hear me say it, just also said it a little later but got more laughs... I turned to my brother-in-law who heard me say it the first time and said, "I guess it's funnier coming from Jennie")
I love this about my family, and when it comes to dating one of the first things I look for is someone who I feel could keep up. It actually is a deal breaker. Years ago there was a guy I was TOTALLY interested in. Like big time crush. He was also a guy that if arranged marriages were something going on these days, my parents would pick him out in a heart beat. BUT we were all sitting around the table one day and I just imagined what it would be like if he were there, and I knew in that moment he would not fit in. He wouldn't be able to join in, he may be offended even. In that moment the crush was completely wiped out.
I love my family dynamic. I love that we have so much fun together. It's what keeps us getting together on a monthly basis if not more. We LOVE to hang out with each other. There is never a dull moment. Last night I was driving home from dinner and I was just thinking about different things that were said, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I drove.
I lucked out in the family department.
Some of the things that make us laugh the hardest is when someone tells what should be a funny story that doesn't translate like they should and someone else calling them out on it. Personal example. I heard this hilarious story, when I heard it I laughed so hard for so long it got pretty awkward as the person I was with just sat there waiting patiently for me to stop. I can tell a good story so at a family dinner I re-told it. I didn't get the laugh I was wanting, so as my laugh faded out I said, "Oh man I laughed so hard when _____ told me." Without skipping a beat my brother Dane says, "So he told it better than you then?" And the family roared with laughter.
Another thing that gets us going is the person who keeps a joke going one step longer than it should. We can take a word or a saying or a joke and spin it into so many different jokes after each one laughing just as hard as the first, but there is a time limit on this. HEAVEN FORBID you be the person that tells the joke that crosses that time line and turns the focus on you and your idiocy, starting a new round of joking.
We are a family that likes to use ridiculous words for sport, such as, "progrum" "'twixt" "unbeknownst" (which as of yesterday led to "beknownst" and "knownst". However we are grammar sticklers (more in the form of speaking, not typing) I remember one night we were talking about words that drive us crazy like "irregardless". My brother Justin said, "I know it's like the word 'always'. 'Always' isn't a word... it's 'Alway...' (this is the point that he realized he wasn't thinking of the word "always" he was thinking of the word "anyways". We all had a hay-day with that one.
One thing that sucks when it happens to you, but is awesome when you do it is stealing someone's joke. There was one time we were sitting around the table telling stories as we always end up doing and through the boisterous conversation I said something that was HILARIOUS, but due to the volume no one but my brother Dane heard it. Realizing his opportunity, he didn't laugh at my awesome joke either, if he had he wouldn't be able to use it. Instead he waited a second and when it had quieted down he repeated it verbatim. The table went wild with his hilarity. Through everyone's laughter and my dismay, he looks over at me and quietly said, "You see what I did there?" Totally getting the credit for my joke. (Same thing happened to me last night but the joke stealer didn't hear me say it, just also said it a little later but got more laughs... I turned to my brother-in-law who heard me say it the first time and said, "I guess it's funnier coming from Jennie")
I love this about my family, and when it comes to dating one of the first things I look for is someone who I feel could keep up. It actually is a deal breaker. Years ago there was a guy I was TOTALLY interested in. Like big time crush. He was also a guy that if arranged marriages were something going on these days, my parents would pick him out in a heart beat. BUT we were all sitting around the table one day and I just imagined what it would be like if he were there, and I knew in that moment he would not fit in. He wouldn't be able to join in, he may be offended even. In that moment the crush was completely wiped out.
I love my family dynamic. I love that we have so much fun together. It's what keeps us getting together on a monthly basis if not more. We LOVE to hang out with each other. There is never a dull moment. Last night I was driving home from dinner and I was just thinking about different things that were said, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I drove.
I lucked out in the family department.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
"Types"
So most people have a "type". That particular look they always seem to like. That particular genre of person they prefer to date. All "types" are different and I like to think that most people don't HAVE to date within that type, but just find themself doing that more often than not.
This is fine, it's normal, it's common. Me? I don't have a physical type. If you were to line up the guys I have dated/been interested in, they range like CRAZY as far as physical appearance goes, but as far as personality goes they are all pretty similar. I am a personality snob, and if the guy has it I am typically attracted to it right away, a lot of times regardless of how "hot" they may be.
Ok that is not really the point. The point is, I know I don't fit into every guy's "type" that's fine. BUT don't hit on me, then tell me I'm not your type, then continue to hit on me.
Yes there is a story behind this...
A few years ago I was trying out a new ward with my friend Katie. We were at ward prayer and this kid came up to us and talked to us for a while flirting pretty heavily with both of us. Side note: Katie has brown hair, I am blonde and he had red hair. He goes on to tell us his rating system. This is how the conversation went from there.
Dude-I base girls on a 1-10 scale based on hair color. Red heads are either 1-3 range or 8-10 range. They are either really unfortunate looking or really hot. Blondes range from about 4-9 it's not often you meet one that is really unattractive, but they'll never be a 10 in my book (HA remember how I'm blonde and he just said that to me?) Brunettes can span the scale from 1-10.
Me- did you really just say blondes can never be a 10? You do realize you're saying this to a blonde right?
Dude- Well I mean you could be up to a 9...
Me- But I'll never be a 10 to you. Why would I ever go out with someone who I knew would never see me as a 10 when I knew that I could find someone else who would?
Dude-well a lot of girls are never actually 10's so being a 9 is still really good. Plus you could always dye your hair.
Me- Or I could just find the guy who would think I'm a 10 as I am.
Ok here's the thing. I am sure a lot of guys would agree with him. Some guys are brunette guys, some guys prefer blondes. That is fine, BUT DON'T TELL THE GIRL THAT if she's not the one you prefer! ESPECIALLY if you are wanting to ask her out. I knew he was more interested in my friend but it was pretty clear he was the kind of guy that would just take what he could get, so he was being just as flirty with both of us to see who, if either, which ended up being neither, would bite. Idiot.
As mentioned before this was a few years ago, and I don't see him often, but I have seen him a couple of times over the years and every time he tries to be all flirty again. Sorry dude you didn't have much of a chance to begin with and you nailed that door shut yourself.
Man... some guys have no tact.
This is fine, it's normal, it's common. Me? I don't have a physical type. If you were to line up the guys I have dated/been interested in, they range like CRAZY as far as physical appearance goes, but as far as personality goes they are all pretty similar. I am a personality snob, and if the guy has it I am typically attracted to it right away, a lot of times regardless of how "hot" they may be.
Ok that is not really the point. The point is, I know I don't fit into every guy's "type" that's fine. BUT don't hit on me, then tell me I'm not your type, then continue to hit on me.
Yes there is a story behind this...
A few years ago I was trying out a new ward with my friend Katie. We were at ward prayer and this kid came up to us and talked to us for a while flirting pretty heavily with both of us. Side note: Katie has brown hair, I am blonde and he had red hair. He goes on to tell us his rating system. This is how the conversation went from there.
Dude-I base girls on a 1-10 scale based on hair color. Red heads are either 1-3 range or 8-10 range. They are either really unfortunate looking or really hot. Blondes range from about 4-9 it's not often you meet one that is really unattractive, but they'll never be a 10 in my book (HA remember how I'm blonde and he just said that to me?) Brunettes can span the scale from 1-10.
Me- did you really just say blondes can never be a 10? You do realize you're saying this to a blonde right?
Dude- Well I mean you could be up to a 9...
Me- But I'll never be a 10 to you. Why would I ever go out with someone who I knew would never see me as a 10 when I knew that I could find someone else who would?
Dude-well a lot of girls are never actually 10's so being a 9 is still really good. Plus you could always dye your hair.
Me- Or I could just find the guy who would think I'm a 10 as I am.
Ok here's the thing. I am sure a lot of guys would agree with him. Some guys are brunette guys, some guys prefer blondes. That is fine, BUT DON'T TELL THE GIRL THAT if she's not the one you prefer! ESPECIALLY if you are wanting to ask her out. I knew he was more interested in my friend but it was pretty clear he was the kind of guy that would just take what he could get, so he was being just as flirty with both of us to see who, if either, which ended up being neither, would bite. Idiot.
As mentioned before this was a few years ago, and I don't see him often, but I have seen him a couple of times over the years and every time he tries to be all flirty again. Sorry dude you didn't have much of a chance to begin with and you nailed that door shut yourself.
Man... some guys have no tact.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Clumsy = Not Hot
As I laid at the bottom of my stairs after my most recent falling incident I thought to myself, "That's a shame no one saw that because I'm sure that was a sight to see."
Here's the thing. Tripping isn't attractive, clumsiness isn't attractive. It's funny as all get out, sure, but not attractive and I trip ALL THE TIME.
Here are some doosies, for your imaginative pleasure.
Going to the movies with my friend Liz, a common occurance about a year ago. The theatre was nearly empty. As we walked in between these two dudes who were conversing amongst themselves, and I mean right as we walked in between them, my heel caught the cuff of my pants. I do a little hop and squeal my shoe breaks free and I continue walking, Liz of course was stopped dead in her tracks, just laughing away, as were the two dudes.
Another time I am on a date, we walk out of his place and I am walking in front down concrete stairs. My heel gets caught in the cuff of my pants (again, same pants) and again hop and squeal (much more terrifying whilst walking down concrete stairs) and I'm good and continue on as I hear him say, "Holy **** that scared the crap outta me."
Another time, I am in my friend's kitchen sitting around the table with about 4 people. I get up to get a drink and heel in cuff (I think there is a lesson to be learned here, I'm still trying to figure it out)This time the hop and squeal wasn't successful. I hop, but my heel stays planted in my cuff, I begin to fall, my knee slams into the cupboards and I hit the floor. Tripping is bad enough, tripping and falling... humiliating.
Then what sent me into this thought. At my workout class this week the dude would not let up on our quads, they hurt so bad all week long. Last night I was walking down the stairs to my bedroom. On the right side there is a handle and a wall, on the left side there is nothing. I'm walking down and I have about 3-4 steps left and my right leg decides to give out. I, of course, reach to the left to save myself, but there is nothing there. So I tumble. Just tumble away down the remaining stairs. Carpeted, luckily. It was terrifying, my body was moving in ways I didn't know I could move, it's amazing what the body can do when trying to save itself. I may have pulled an ab in the process.
I know that fall was not attractive. I am a clumsy person. I trip all the time. I always squeal when I trip. Could this,in a small way attribute to my marital status?
Thoughts from a single 27 year old.
Here's the thing. Tripping isn't attractive, clumsiness isn't attractive. It's funny as all get out, sure, but not attractive and I trip ALL THE TIME.
Here are some doosies, for your imaginative pleasure.
Going to the movies with my friend Liz, a common occurance about a year ago. The theatre was nearly empty. As we walked in between these two dudes who were conversing amongst themselves, and I mean right as we walked in between them, my heel caught the cuff of my pants. I do a little hop and squeal my shoe breaks free and I continue walking, Liz of course was stopped dead in her tracks, just laughing away, as were the two dudes.
Another time I am on a date, we walk out of his place and I am walking in front down concrete stairs. My heel gets caught in the cuff of my pants (again, same pants) and again hop and squeal (much more terrifying whilst walking down concrete stairs) and I'm good and continue on as I hear him say, "Holy **** that scared the crap outta me."
Another time, I am in my friend's kitchen sitting around the table with about 4 people. I get up to get a drink and heel in cuff (I think there is a lesson to be learned here, I'm still trying to figure it out)This time the hop and squeal wasn't successful. I hop, but my heel stays planted in my cuff, I begin to fall, my knee slams into the cupboards and I hit the floor. Tripping is bad enough, tripping and falling... humiliating.
Then what sent me into this thought. At my workout class this week the dude would not let up on our quads, they hurt so bad all week long. Last night I was walking down the stairs to my bedroom. On the right side there is a handle and a wall, on the left side there is nothing. I'm walking down and I have about 3-4 steps left and my right leg decides to give out. I, of course, reach to the left to save myself, but there is nothing there. So I tumble. Just tumble away down the remaining stairs. Carpeted, luckily. It was terrifying, my body was moving in ways I didn't know I could move, it's amazing what the body can do when trying to save itself. I may have pulled an ab in the process.
I know that fall was not attractive. I am a clumsy person. I trip all the time. I always squeal when I trip. Could this,in a small way attribute to my marital status?
Thoughts from a single 27 year old.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The New Kid
Ok so I have moved. I'm in my new place, and I was afraid it was going to be hard but it was better than I expected. This I have talked about.
Here is the thing. In the beginning everything was great, I had made this whole change, I was meeting tons of new people, everything was new. It/I was a novelty.
The novelty has worn off.
The thing about me is I am a sarcastic person. Not everyone likes/gets sarcasm. I have learned this throughout my life by being seen as mean or initimidating. So many people have told me that when they first met me they were intimidated by me, or even afraid of me. Also add the fact that my stance of choice is arms folded, AND the fact that I'm shy. I get it, I understand the first impression I make.
That being said, it takes me a long time for me to be comfortable enough to come out of my shell.
So back to being the new kid. I have been really open to meeting new people lately, I've had to, I've thrown myself into a completely new place where I know no one. Luckily I have been invited to a lot of BBQ's and parties and such, and I go, but I stand there quietly... arms folded talking only when spoken to. WHAT? That is not me! I am not that girl. I am a hoot! I am the girl telling stories and making people laugh with my tales of clumsiness and blondocity, often using some sort of accent.
Right now I feel trapped. I go to activities and want to talk to people, want to tell jokes, want to be comfortable enough to just talk to anyone, but I can't. How does one overcome this?
Prime example. At my place of employ for the first 10 months I worked here, no one knew me. People thought I was super quiet, with no personality. People were afraid of me. I did my job in silence. Then I switched departments and met a girl who is super outgoing and crazy and she pulled me out of my shell. That's also around the time I started this blog. People heard about it and started reading it (it used to be a really funny blog, if you haven't read from the beginning I recommend you do that) and I found out my now friend asked another girl, "Did you know that she's funny?" Now I'm known in the office for being silly, crazy, funny... I'm known to not be the quiet girl I was. That took me 10 MONTHS!
I do not want to be where I'm at for the next 10 months not knowing anyone. Not being myself. Plus I'm only under contract for 6 months, so it's possible that the entire time I live here I'll be stuck? No! I refuse.
I am getting more comfortable, and I am meeting new people, but I'm still not totally being myself, I'm still being shy. I need to knock that off. I need to learn how to not be shy anymore. There's gotta be some self-help books out there on that right? I'll do some research.
To summarize, I hate being the new kid.
Here is the thing. In the beginning everything was great, I had made this whole change, I was meeting tons of new people, everything was new. It/I was a novelty.
The novelty has worn off.
The thing about me is I am a sarcastic person. Not everyone likes/gets sarcasm. I have learned this throughout my life by being seen as mean or initimidating. So many people have told me that when they first met me they were intimidated by me, or even afraid of me. Also add the fact that my stance of choice is arms folded, AND the fact that I'm shy. I get it, I understand the first impression I make.
That being said, it takes me a long time for me to be comfortable enough to come out of my shell.
So back to being the new kid. I have been really open to meeting new people lately, I've had to, I've thrown myself into a completely new place where I know no one. Luckily I have been invited to a lot of BBQ's and parties and such, and I go, but I stand there quietly... arms folded talking only when spoken to. WHAT? That is not me! I am not that girl. I am a hoot! I am the girl telling stories and making people laugh with my tales of clumsiness and blondocity, often using some sort of accent.
Right now I feel trapped. I go to activities and want to talk to people, want to tell jokes, want to be comfortable enough to just talk to anyone, but I can't. How does one overcome this?
Prime example. At my place of employ for the first 10 months I worked here, no one knew me. People thought I was super quiet, with no personality. People were afraid of me. I did my job in silence. Then I switched departments and met a girl who is super outgoing and crazy and she pulled me out of my shell. That's also around the time I started this blog. People heard about it and started reading it (it used to be a really funny blog, if you haven't read from the beginning I recommend you do that) and I found out my now friend asked another girl, "Did you know that she's funny?" Now I'm known in the office for being silly, crazy, funny... I'm known to not be the quiet girl I was. That took me 10 MONTHS!
I do not want to be where I'm at for the next 10 months not knowing anyone. Not being myself. Plus I'm only under contract for 6 months, so it's possible that the entire time I live here I'll be stuck? No! I refuse.
I am getting more comfortable, and I am meeting new people, but I'm still not totally being myself, I'm still being shy. I need to knock that off. I need to learn how to not be shy anymore. There's gotta be some self-help books out there on that right? I'll do some research.
To summarize, I hate being the new kid.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Starting Over
So it's been a week and a half since I moved and it has been a GREAT week and a half.
I think once I made the decision to move I knew it needed to happen as soon as possible. Things where I was just started to get worse and worse, and not necessarily because anything was changing, but because I KNEW I needed to leave. I was ready to leave and I couldn't wait to start over. Starting over has always been something that terrified me, but in this case I was so excited at what lied ahead for me.
I started going to my new ward a few weeks before I moved, and the first Sunday there it just felt right. The month of July was a long one. I was ready.
I moved Saturday the 23rd and since then things have just been really good. I've been really happy, in a way that I haven't been in a long time. I didn't realize till I left how stagnate I was feeling, and now it's like I have so many opportunities that I didn't have before.
I thought before I moved that it would take a few months for me to be happy with the move, for me to feel like I understood why I did what I did, but that feeling came immediately. I was immediately happier. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I knew for 100% certainty that I made the right decision and that feels good.
The people I have met and the things I have done since I moved haven't even really been in relation to where I live, but I have been more open to meeting new people, I have had more confidence to meet new people. I am taking opportunities to be in situations where I don't know anyone SO I can meet new people and already it has been so fun. I love my new ward, I think my roommates are going to be great. I love my house. Like I said other things have been happening that aren't even in relation to the move. Music is picking up like crazy.
When you do something you know you are supposed to do, even if it's scary and hard, you will be blessed. I am so grateful to know that I did what I did because I was guided to do so, of that I have no doubt. NO DOUBT! And because I did what I was supposed to do, I am being blessed.
The reasons I had a hard time leaving are because of the people I left, but the people that mean the most to me are still very much a part of my life, and the people I left that are gone, well clearly it was good to clean house.
Starting over this time around has been grand!
I think once I made the decision to move I knew it needed to happen as soon as possible. Things where I was just started to get worse and worse, and not necessarily because anything was changing, but because I KNEW I needed to leave. I was ready to leave and I couldn't wait to start over. Starting over has always been something that terrified me, but in this case I was so excited at what lied ahead for me.
I started going to my new ward a few weeks before I moved, and the first Sunday there it just felt right. The month of July was a long one. I was ready.
I moved Saturday the 23rd and since then things have just been really good. I've been really happy, in a way that I haven't been in a long time. I didn't realize till I left how stagnate I was feeling, and now it's like I have so many opportunities that I didn't have before.
I thought before I moved that it would take a few months for me to be happy with the move, for me to feel like I understood why I did what I did, but that feeling came immediately. I was immediately happier. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I knew for 100% certainty that I made the right decision and that feels good.
The people I have met and the things I have done since I moved haven't even really been in relation to where I live, but I have been more open to meeting new people, I have had more confidence to meet new people. I am taking opportunities to be in situations where I don't know anyone SO I can meet new people and already it has been so fun. I love my new ward, I think my roommates are going to be great. I love my house. Like I said other things have been happening that aren't even in relation to the move. Music is picking up like crazy.
When you do something you know you are supposed to do, even if it's scary and hard, you will be blessed. I am so grateful to know that I did what I did because I was guided to do so, of that I have no doubt. NO DOUBT! And because I did what I was supposed to do, I am being blessed.
The reasons I had a hard time leaving are because of the people I left, but the people that mean the most to me are still very much a part of my life, and the people I left that are gone, well clearly it was good to clean house.
Starting over this time around has been grand!
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