What I've Been Missing

So I am a girl that goes on a lot of first dates. As previously mentioned I dislike first dates which means the majority of my dating life has not been that much fun.
I got to a point last fall where I decided I was fine being single. In fact I really liked it. I could imagine my life 20 years down the road as a single woman, living in my own condo, traveling the world singing. Perhaps taking my nieces and nephews with me on tour and what have you, and honestly I thought I could be really happy that way. The only issue was being in your mid-twenties single kinda sucks, there is a lot of pressure on you, everyone that you are close to is trying to get married and going through the same things as you, and it's not that great, if I could just get past that point I would be fine.
The thing is, I had never really dated anyone for longer than like a month, and I dind't know what I was missing. When you don't know what you are missing you don't know that you actually want it. I didn't, I thought I was fine.
Fast forward to me dating someone for a couple of months. We never got serious, but we dated for a couple of months, and in that time I had someone who was good to me, who called me almost every day just to talk, who wasn't afraid to be affectionate with me in public, who would make an effort to be with me. Who I could introduce to my family, and someone to be excited about.
When it ended things were totally fine between us, honestly if it had to end, it couldn't have been better. We had a really good conversation, and honestly I still have a ton of respect for him, and hopefully down the line we can become good friends. Never-the-less it ended, and I didn't want it to.
Since then I find myself longing for that kind of companionship again. To again feel that comfortable with someone, to have one person that I am excited about. Excited to hear from, and hold my hand and kiss me at the end of the night. I miss it. I miss having that. I miss moving forward and wondering when the next step will be taken. I miss having someone to talk about, and have people know who I am talking about. I know that it's not necessarily him that I miss, just the feelings he gave me. I now know what I'm missing, and I know I wouldn't be happy in a life without that.
Knowing what you are missing is totally bittersweet. It hurts to not have it anymore, but I'm so glad I had it at all, to know that that is really what I want. I know it won't be forever, I know I will have it again probably sooner than I think and I also know that whenever I do get it again it will probably be even better, but right now I miss it. It's worth missing.