The Best Moment of My Life.

This story is a favorite of mine to tell. This is what I describe as the defining moment of my life.
I am a singer. It's who I am, it's what I do. It took a lot of years to get to the point where I could confidently stand in front of people and sing and feel like I could do that without error.
I started lessons when I was 11 and for years and years I had no confidence, I didn't know how to pick songs for my voice, I didn't know how to sing. I loved it, but I didn't know what I was doing and it wasn't good. I had a lot of performances that I left in tears, a LOT of performances I will never forget the embarrassment. Auditions gone awry.
I would watch the girls that got the lead roles in the musicals with so much envy. I would listen to soloists and long to be able to sing like that. I remember how it feels to just wish so much that I could do that. But I wasn't good enough and I knew that. I auditioned for EVERYTHING but there was always someone better. Someone who would outshine me, and then I would watch them do what I wanted to do so badly and know the better person was chosen. I remember sitting in audiences for talent shows that I didn't make and just ache knowing how badly I wanted to be up on that stage (much like how I feel now when I watch American Idol or The Voice auditions)
My senior year of high school I auditioned for the senior talent show. I had auditioned for 11 different things in my high school career and never made anything. The musicals were over, the choirs were over, this was it. This was my last chance to sing in high school, my last chance for people to learn that I could sing, at this point I had more confidence, I knew I could sing if someone would give me a chance. I sang God Help the Outcast. What a perfect choice. I didn't actually think I would make it, I had nothing in my past to make me think it would happen, but I remember that day walking into the cafeteria and Meg Damron running up to me to tell me I made it. The list wasn't posted yet, but she was there when they chose the people who made it, and I made the list. I couldn't believe it and I was automatically nervous.
I didn't have anything extraordinary to set me apart. I did not stand out. I think people knew who I was, but how do you not after 6 years of school together. I was incredibly self-conscious and this could either be really good for me, or destroy me all together.
The day of the performance came. I don't remember much else from the show, but I remember what I was wearing, I remember my sister doing my make-up, I remember doing my hair, I remember picking out the clothes I would wear. Everything that morning had to do with the fact that I was about to stand in front of about 2500 people and sing. My first real performance.
I remember standing back stage as Terry Sachs did stand up comedy for his talent. I remember the SBO's sitting on a couch announcing who would be next as part of the skit. I remember them saying I sang like an angel and wanting to throw up. They called my name and I walked out on the stage. The lights were blinding, but I could see my sister and parents in the front row with my voice teacher. I remember the red light of the video camera my sister was holding. I remember hearing my friend Nick Pyles screaming "Julia you're my hero" and I remember hearing the music start.
I started to sing, and it went silent.
I felt good, I was singing well. All I could think was, "Please don't swallow mid word" I couldn't get a big enough breath, I could feel my knees shaking. I finish the song, "... The poor and unlucky, the weak and the odd. I thought we all were, the children of God." Silence, for what seemed like forever. Then screaming. Deafening applause. The lights dim and I look out at the crowd I see the bewilderment of the crowd, the shock on their faces as they rise to their feet shouting... for me. Before I know it I am standing in front of a full house of my peers giving me a standing ovation. If I wasn't so completely in shock and so so nervous I would have been sobbing. Even thinking of it now I am overwhelmed at how that felt. My sister was crying, my parents were crying. For what seemed like the first time, I was seen. That was the moment I decided I needed to be a singer. I knew I had to do that for the rest of my life.
No performance since then has matched how that one felt. I have sang to bigger crowds I have sang better, but that is what I think I will always look back on as the best show I have ever been a part of. I will never forget the little details of that day. I'll never forget the kids coming up to me in the hall and telling me they had no idea I could sing. I'll never forget what it felt like to be seen, for the first time, to have people know who I was. It's been almost 10 years since that happened and I will never forget the tiny details of that day.
Whatever happens in my music career, it will always be due to that performance. My defining moment.