When I think of where I was 6 months ago, I really have come a long way. I still feel very much like a newb here, but I also know this place so much better.
I moved into a new apartment in August, which has been really great. I've said time and time again that I really feel like the first 5 months of living here was just in preparation for everything else that will happen from here on out. The house that I first lived in here was great, I had great roommates, but it never felt like home to me. I never felt like I belonged there. I felt the same way about the ward. I just didn't belong. That being said it was a fine place to start. The apartment I live in now feels like where I am supposed to be. The ward felt like home the first day there. I have a great roommate who I get along with so well. If we don't see each other for too long we'll always sit on either her or my bed and just discuss recent events, mainly talking about dating and the latest happenings. I love just having one roommate!
Work is getting better. THAT took a long time. When I moved here I just transferred positions within the same company, but the office I moved to didn't really have a position for me. I am completely grateful that they brought me over anyway, but it was a rough few months with NOTHING to do all day. They finally moved me to being an assistant to 2 different loan officers, which is a position I think I could excel at. Unfortunately the summer months are always really slow in the mortgage biz so I still had little to do. Recently I just took on another loan officer and business is starting to pick up. I was just thinking today as I was driving home from St George, that I feel like I'm finally starting to be comfortable in my position. I'm finally starting to feel competent again. I am someone who feels like I have to be the best at what I do. In Sandy, I was that person. I was the go to person, I was an asset, and I knew it. I have NOT felt that way here and I've hated that. I finally feel like I'm starting to get in my groove, and though I am far from being the best, I do feel like it's in my future.
Music is still a challenge here. I so miss singing in with Mountain Blue and Friends of Spencer,I think about it all the time. I miss being known as a singer. I miss being known at all. I have sung at a fireside, a Diamondbacks game and in church twice... in 6 months... that's it. I'm used to singing 2-3 times a month. I sang in my ward a couple of weeks ago and it was like the highlight of my life here. I felt like myself again. I miss that so so much. It honestly breaks my heart that I don't do it more, I can honestly say that has been the hardest part about my life here. I miss my family terribly, but I have seen them almost once a month, but singing... singing I haven't been able to be consistent with. Singing has been my solace since I was a kid and I don't have that outlet here. Singing is where I feel like I am at my absolute best and I miss that feeling.
It's still surreal to me that I live here. Driving home from St George and getting on the freeway to go South instead of North was weird. It feels right, I know I'm doing the right thing, but sometimes I just think, "Man I really moved to Arizona, I really live there now, and have for 6 months!" I still don't have any timeline as to when I'd move home, and truth be told I have no desire to ever live in Utah again as a single girl. Utah will always be my home and I want to end up there one day, but for now, I'm an Arizonan.
What will the next 6 months hold?
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