When I am asked what I look for most in a guy pretty much the first thing I say is a good sense of humor. People hear this and think, "Oh sure, that's what they all say." I can see why some would be annoyed by that statement, thinking it's some sort of cop-out, "everyone wants that". I am a different breed.
I am a girl who was raised in a hilarious family. I believe every family has their thing. For some families it's intelligent discussion, other families it's competition at who can be the best at everything, other families it's simply just being together. My family's thing is humor. We can sit around the table for hours and just laugh. In my family it's whoever can get to the joke fastest wins. Or in some situations stealing others jokes knowing they are hilarious and claiming them as your own. I remember one time sitting around the table, and everyone is laughing hysterically at something, I made a hilarious comment but due to the boisterous laughter no one, with the exception of my brother Dane, heard me. A couple seconds later when everyone had calmed down Dane repeated verbatim what I had said and received all the laughter as his own, then he slyly looked at me and quietly says, "See what I did there?". I did see, and I'm still upset by this thievery, however he did what he had to do and I appreciate his delivery.
That is how we roll. That is how I grew up, so naturally I look for someone who could join in. I go on dates and if the guy can really make me laugh he has a better chance of getting a second date (if he wants one that is). The thing is, it's not just any sense of humor (and here is where the admittance of me being crazy begins). Most senses of humor can actually turn me off. If you have to quote other comedians to be funny, quoting movies or anything that's not really just your humor, it's not for me. Awkward humor... not for me. Not actually being funny but thinking you are... painful! The sense of humor I go for, is the unexpected joke. The dry witty humor that catches you off guard. Intelligent humor, stuff that makes you think and then laugh. Love it.
This has become a problem in my dating career. I used to go into work after a date and my friend would ask me how it went and if I said anything along the lines of, "Meh, it was alright" she'd come back with, "Let me guess, 'he wasn't funny enough', 'he wasn't the right kind of funny', 'he didn't think you were funny' " I realized then this is a common occurrence.
I recently had a dream that I went on a first date with a guy, after he called me and broke up with me via voicemail saying, "You just aren't as funny as I was hoping. You are a pretty girl, but you're not funny and it turns out that is pretty important to me." I was pissed because, yes I am funny! I knew right away I dreamt that because that is something I would do. That is my issue. Not too long after that I actually went on a first date and when I was telling my roommate about it I verbatim said those exact things.
Recently I was wondering if I am putting too much weight on that as a dating requirement. That it's not really necessary. Then I thought, Heck no. It exists I have been around that humor and I need it in my life. I need to be with a guy that can keep me laughing and that I can make laugh. Laughter is an important part of life I think. It just makes things better. So when I say that is what I look for in a guy, you better believe I'm looking hard for it and won't settle without it.
