Thursday, September 20, 2012

Famine Masquerading as a Feast

Ok, so I have these two guys that are like my best friends. Jon and Steve. We talk about dating all the time, and share our woes and triumphs. One thing that we talk a lot about is that dating is always a feast or a famine. You either are dating more than you can handle or NOBODY!
At the moment it seems we are all in the feast category, which is great... well which can be great. I think the feast is better for them than it is for me. I don't do well with options. I like having one guy, I don't like to juggle and am not good at it. Anyway, I digress.
At the moment one would think I was having quite the feast. Last week for instance I heard from 7... *7* guys from my past. Steve mentioned to me that it's because the season is changing... going from summer to fall and these guys are now looking for their fall girlfriend. Someone to cozy up with as it gets colder, someone to go to haunted houses with and such. Makes sense.
Here's the thing, I've been set up a lot lately with great guys, I've been asked out by great guys, I've been flirting a lot with great guys, all good things BUT nothing is happening with any of them. There are A LOT that are out and about, but nothing is happening. Right now I am just waiting to see what will happen with any one of them. Sure I have my preferences, but I'm just waiting. Waiting to see if "so and so" is going to follow through. Or if "that one" is going to ask me out. Or if "THAT one" is going to ask me out again.
I wait. So though from the sounds of it, from the guys that I am talking about it sounds like I'm in a feast, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING! So really, I'm in a famine!

Monday, September 3, 2012

5 years 2 months and 16 days

Today it has been exactly that long since I had my surgery. Since I started losing weight. 5 years 2 months and 16 days ago I weighed 225 pounds.
My goal for this surgery was that I would get down to 175. That was the lowest I had ever remembered being, that was when I was the happiest. That was 50 pounds and that was just over the average amount of weight to lose. Most people would lose 50% of their excess weight, and that was just over 50% of mine.
That was my goal.
My hope was that I would lose it all. Get down to 145. I knew it wasn't "likely" but that it was possible.
I had a skirt that I wore when I was first down at 175. It was my goal skirt. All I wanted was to fit into that skirt again. I loved that skirt and felt so skinny in it. I kept it and would try it on all the time to see if I was getting closer.
Today, this morning, just now I weighed myself. Today, 5 years, 2 months and 16 days after the surgery, today I weighed in at 125. 100 pounds. I have lost all my excess weight plus 20 pounds. Today I am 100 pounds smaller. 100 pounds!!!
I never really thought I'd see this day.
It took 6 months to lose 40 pounds. 1 year to hit my new goal of 80 pounds. Those were all surgery assisted. This last 20 pounds, this last new goal was all me. I got down to 135 in the second year and I was ok at that weight. In the last 2 months is when I lost the rest, but I did it. 5 years 2 months and 16 days later I am 100 pounds smaller. 50 pounds past my original goal. 125. I weigh 125.
That 225 girl is still in my head sometimes, and right now she is crying with joy. The 125 girl that I am now can't help but do the same.

This was a bridesmaid skirt for my best friend's wedding when I was 21. This skirt was made to fit me. I found this skirt a few years ago and I remember holding it up and not knowing what it even was. When I realized it was that skirt I was shocked!

This was my goal skirt. This was the skirt that all I wanted from this surgery was to be able to fit into this again. Well... I can't, and I am so happy that I can't!