Wednesday, October 23, 2013

In the spirit of Halloween Part Duex

Another dream:
I was volunteering in a school gym, working with kids and helping organize a relief effort of some sort. I was talking with a friend of mine when we heard chaos coming from outside of the gym. There were windows out to the hall and we could see people running past. Over the intercom we heard that there was an outbreak of some sort of virus and everyone in the gym was to remain in the gym at all cost so as to not be affected. They told us that these creatures were more likely to affect their own gender first.
As soon as the announcement was over I looked over at my friend and saw her... twitch. Just like that she transitioned and attacked a girl standing next to us.
As though in slow motion I looked around and noticed one by one people were changing. I started to run out and was grabbed by an infected guy. He had my arm in his hands and was about to bite me when another guy ran past us. He dropped my arm and charged at the guy. Being that he was the same gender he was more of a draw than I was.
I saw a little kid standing alone so I grabbed him and ran out of the gym.
The next thing I know I'm outside. It's dark by now and the streets are practically empty. The street lamps give a yellow color to the scene. I climbed up in the trees to be out of site. Every once in a while an infected would go running past.
As I was in the trees I saw my parents walk by. They both knew it was only a matter of time. I remember when I was little my dad saying, "I can always tell your mom is in a good mood when she is humming". My mom grabbed my Dad's hand and said that she was scared and he said, "Sing something for me". They started singing together as they walked through the empty street.
They walked up to an apartment building just as this little kid comes running out. He saw my parents and yelled inside, "There are people out here... REAL people." As he ran inside you could hear his parents yelling at each other, you could hear them changing and the kid crying. I looked down at my parents and they just looked at each other and hugged knowing they couldn't get away.
Then I woke up.

Friday, October 18, 2013

In the spirit of Halloween...

So I am a person that has very vivid and sometimes terrifying dreams. I've thought about logging them, but I also felt like if people knew the things I was dreaming they'd think I was a little crazy. One here and there is fine, but I consistently have freaky dreams.
I thought in the spirit of Halloween I'd post some of them... so here is number 1.

Some friends and I decided that we wanted to check out some haunted places, so we went online and googled "Haunted places in Utah". We found a websited that had a list of "The 10 most haunted locations in Utah" and tried to find one near us. One of the recommendations was up the canyon so we decided to give that a whirl.
There were about 10 of us, 5 girls and 5 guys and we decided we'd take video cameras and record anything interesting.
Once we got up the canyon we decided to split up the guys and girls and meet up at the end and share our stories.
The girls and I went trecking along and we stumbled across this old abandoned cabin. The front window was busted out and it was dark inside. We decided to set the camera up facing the house while one of the girls went in to check things out. I, being the pansy that I am, didn't dare go in, so I volunteered to watch the camera.
One girl went in and through the front window you could barely see her silhouette walking around. Then all of the sudden from the other side of the room we saw another silhouette coming at her. It rushed on her and we heard screaming and a lot of commotion but we couldn't see what was going on, and then silence. We got it on video.
The next scene of the dream I was going to her funeral. There was a memorial for her at her family's house and we wanted to go and pay our respects. For whatever reason I had a copy of the video with me. We went in and visited with the family for a bit and left.
Not too long after that I realized I left the video at the house somewhere. I went rushing back to the house to try and get it before anyone saw it, but when I walked in, her whole family was standing there, watching it right at the part where she was killed.
Then I woke up.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

A change in the weather...

Man, I know I moved to AZ for the weather, but I did not expect it to affect me the way it did.
When I first moved to Arizona it was a very hard transition. Couple that with 118 degree heat and I was pretty miserable. I kept telling myself it would be worth it when winter came, but I had to wait for winter to come.
I went home pretty regularly and though I never considered moving back to Utah, it was always pretty difficult to leave once I got there.
Well my friends, at the end of September it started snowing in Utah, and it was mid 80's in Arizona and my mood rapidly changed.
I am a girl that loves being warm and get actually upset when I'm cold. Having it be warm in Arizona in mid October honestly makes me so happy I can hardly contain myself. I miss the fall in Utah with the colors and everything, but I was in Utah last weekend and I could NOT get warm the entire time I was there. I was talking to my nephew, Jace, and said, "How can you stand how cold it is in this house?" he goes, "It's not cold, you're just from Arizona." Too true little one... too true.
I have only lived here for 7.5 months but I acclimated fast and now can't handle temps below 60. Last weekend was the first time since moving here that I was actually itching to get back.
I was out on the lake last night with my rowing crew, I had to wear a jacket to start (it was 79 degrees) but once we got warmed up I was just in a tank top, in MID-OCTOBER!
This is why I moved here, folks. I'm like perma smiling these days, it's amazing how the weather can affect my mood.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

What's in a name...

So a number of years ago my friend set me up on a blind date. This was a legit blind date I had never seen a picture of him before we went out. (That is UNHEARD of these days)
Our first date the plan was to go to a corn maze. It was in October and fall activities area must!
We went to the corn maze and had so much fun getting to know each other and totally getting lost. When that was over we decided we still wanted to hang out, so we went and got hot chocolate and bought a pumpkin to carve. We went back to his house and carved the pumpkin and then still wanted to hang out so we decided to watch a scary movie. Pretty much nailed every Halloween activity we could think of. After a 7 hour date he was taking me home.
It was a safe assumption that we were both into each other.
About a week later we met at a pub with some friends of mine and did some karaoke. We had so much fun but I did feel like he was a little off.
That night when he walked me to my car he told me that he had recently gotten out of a relationship and he thought he was ready to move on but he's realizing that he just wasn't. That he really did like me, but he was just thinking about her too much to be able to do anything about that. I had been notified of this relationship by the friend that set us up so I knew it was legit and that was that.
I was pretty bummed. Later I talked to my friend that set us up and he told me that this ex-girlfriend was named Julie Saunders. JULIE SAUNDERS! Are you kidding me? No wonder he kept thinking about her when he was with me... I threw my hands up and was like, "welp... nuff said."

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

General Conference

So... one thing I don't do very much is talk about my religious beliefs. I've always been the kind of person that wants people to know I love them no matter what, and don't want them to think I'm trying to force my religion on them or anything. I just fear making people feel uncomfortable so I never say anything.
Today I want to make it known that I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I have a strong testimony and faith in them and this weekend that was manifested to me even stronger.
This past weekend my church had our semi-annual general conference. It is a broadcast where the leaders of the church speak to us as a whole. It is broadcast to countries all over the world and translated into nearly 100 languages so every member/anyone who wants to can have it available to them.
When I was a kid I dreaded it. Actually probably until my mid 20's. It's 10 hours of talks and I used to just count the minutes until it was over.
I always heard that if you prayed beforehand for specific guidance, if you went into Conference with a prayer in your heart and a question in your mind, you would get an answer.
The first time I ever did that was April 2009. I won't go into specific detail of that time, but I will tell you I prayed for something specific and the very first talk given was a direct answer to my prayer. I remember being shocked! I felt like that time was Heavenly Father telling me, "this works, I'm showing you fast so you won't forget... I won't always answer in the first talk, but I will always answer." Ever since then I have looked forward to conference and just loved it and ever since then I have felt more guided and directed in my life because of the talks given.
This past weekend was a similar experience. I didn't have a specific question in mind, but lately I've just had this mindset of trying to improve myself. Trying to be the best version of myself. It's no secret that I want to get married and I'm trying to be the best I can to be worthy of the kind of guy I want to find. I just prayed for personal guidance.
One of the first talks given was by President Uchtdorf, the second counselor in the first presidency of the church. I know it struck nearly everyone, but one quote from his talk was, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." That was so powerful to me. We are all so quick to doubt and question the good, but we don't think about questioning the bad. I was thinking about it all day and then the strong thought came to me, "Doubt your flaws before you doubt your self worth" and it was like lightning struck. I am so quick to magnify my flaws and insecurities without thinking about all that I really have to offer. Ever since then, if I start to question myself or focus on a flaw I immediately think of that quote and right away think, "That's not even a big deal! I have so much more to offer than that." and honestly right away I feel more confident and self-assured.
I am human and as such will always be making mistakes and will never be perfect, but this reminded me that I am always working on that. I am always trying to be the best version of myself and that will always be a work in progress. That in and of itself is a strength of mine. I want to find someone who is flawed but trying. That's all we can really want right? I am that person. I am the kind of person I want to find. I would be lucky to find someone like me, flaws and all. This may be the first time I've ever thought that. That's pretty empowering.