Monday, September 26, 2011

Benjamin Button-itis

I've noticed in my life that the older I get the younger people think I am. (Not a bad deal) My whole life people always thought I was older (sometimes much MUCH older) than I actually was. These are a few examples, some are pretty extreme and will seem untrue, but I tell you now, everything you are about to read is 100% true.
Age 12 I was at Academy for Girls (EFY but for the younger ages) we went to an old folk's home and I was helping and elderly lady make a hanger for her doorknob, and she said to me something along the lines of, "Things are so difficult once you get to my age, it's so nice to have you young people come and help... how old are you? 20? 30?" This is where it all started.
When I was 16 I sang at my cousin Shad's wedding. My cousin Marissa was there with her daughters. Her daughter Kierra was 6 months old. I LOVED holding her all the time. At the wedding Kierra was sleeping in my arms and this lady came up to me, and said how beautiful she was, followed by, "That is such a bonding time for mother and child, when they sleep in your arms." I didn't want to embarrass her so I just said, "Yeah..."
Next example: When I was 17, a senior in high school. I was taking a class called Elementary tutoring. I was planning on being a teacher and in this class I would go to an Elementary school and basically was an aid in the 2nd grade class. Toward the end of the school year they were doing a talent show. At this point I had bonded with the kids and they really wanted me to go. So I went and sat amongst the parents. One lady turned to me and said, "Which one is yours?" I just looked at her in shock and said, "I'm 17! I'm the aid for this class." Really lady did I look old enough to have an 8 year old?
That same year(this is where it starts to get crazy) My sister was cheering for the University of Utah. I drove her to her practice in the morning and they had some sort of orientation so I stayed to watch. At the end of the practice Jennie came up to me. Keep in mind she was 19 at the time, and again, I was 17. We talked for a bit and then she walked away, and this older lady came up to me and said, "Are you the mom?" SERIOUSLY!!!! I looked at her in SUCH disgust and said, "I'm her YOUNGER sister!!!" to which she replied. "Well that's nice." I was pretty upset... I get that I look older than I am, but old enough to have a 19 year old daughter???
A few years later I was talking to an RS president in my single's ward. She asked me how old I was and I said, "21" she was shocked and said, "Really I thought you were my age." I remember being totally appalled at that as she was 27 (I think about that all the time now as I am now 27... do 21 year olds still think 27 is SO OLD???).
A couple years later. I was at work and it was my birthday. This guy who came into my office somewhat regularly said, "So how old are you... 24... 25?" I said, "Oh I'm 23.." Smile turned to shock on his face. "Oh... I was kidding... I thought you were... older." It was then that I realized he was trying to be flattering by obviously guessing way younger than he thought I actually was.
And finally. The story to end all. When I was 21 my sister and I were at a restaurant. I was holding her 6 month old son Jace. A lady (obviously old and senile) came to us and said how cute he was and asked who the mother was. I pointed at Jennie and just smiled. Then she looked at me and said, "And you're the grandma?" Right away, Jennie nearly choked on her laughter. I just looked at her and said, "No"
As I said though, the older I get the younger people think I am now. Someone guessed yesterday that I was 20-21, according to these stories the last time I would have looked that age would have been like 10. I have some ideas as to why, but the drastic-ousity of the guesses still surprise me.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Family Dynamics

Over the years through meetings lots of different families I have noticed something. Every family as something that they bond over. Something that when they get together for dinner or whatever, helps them to connect with each other. For some of my friends that would be, intelligent conversation, whether it be politics, current events, what have you. Other friends it's who is the best at whatever, taking turns telling stories of grandeur and one upping each other. For my family it's making each other laugh. Who can get to the joke first? Who can make fun of the person the fastest? Every time we get together we spend the majority of the evening laughing SO HARD!
Some of the things that make us laugh the hardest is when someone tells what should be a funny story that doesn't translate like they should and someone else calling them out on it. Personal example. I heard this hilarious story, when I heard it I laughed so hard for so long it got pretty awkward as the person I was with just sat there waiting patiently for me to stop. I can tell a good story so at a family dinner I re-told it. I didn't get the laugh I was wanting, so as my laugh faded out I said, "Oh man I laughed so hard when _____ told me." Without skipping a beat my brother Dane says, "So he told it better than you then?" And the family roared with laughter.
Another thing that gets us going is the person who keeps a joke going one step longer than it should. We can take a word or a saying or a joke and spin it into so many different jokes after each one laughing just as hard as the first, but there is a time limit on this. HEAVEN FORBID you be the person that tells the joke that crosses that time line and turns the focus on you and your idiocy, starting a new round of joking.
We are a family that likes to use ridiculous words for sport, such as, "progrum" "'twixt" "unbeknownst" (which as of yesterday led to "beknownst" and "knownst". However we are grammar sticklers (more in the form of speaking, not typing) I remember one night we were talking about words that drive us crazy like "irregardless". My brother Justin said, "I know it's like the word 'always'. 'Always' isn't a word... it's 'Alway...' (this is the point that he realized he wasn't thinking of the word "always" he was thinking of the word "anyways". We all had a hay-day with that one.
One thing that sucks when it happens to you, but is awesome when you do it is stealing someone's joke. There was one time we were sitting around the table telling stories as we always end up doing and through the boisterous conversation I said something that was HILARIOUS, but due to the volume no one but my brother Dane heard it. Realizing his opportunity, he didn't laugh at my awesome joke either, if he had he wouldn't be able to use it. Instead he waited a second and when it had quieted down he repeated it verbatim. The table went wild with his hilarity. Through everyone's laughter and my dismay, he looks over at me and quietly said, "You see what I did there?" Totally getting the credit for my joke. (Same thing happened to me last night but the joke stealer didn't hear me say it, just also said it a little later but got more laughs... I turned to my brother-in-law who heard me say it the first time and said, "I guess it's funnier coming from Jennie")
I love this about my family, and when it comes to dating one of the first things I look for is someone who I feel could keep up. It actually is a deal breaker. Years ago there was a guy I was TOTALLY interested in. Like big time crush. He was also a guy that if arranged marriages were something going on these days, my parents would pick him out in a heart beat. BUT we were all sitting around the table one day and I just imagined what it would be like if he were there, and I knew in that moment he would not fit in. He wouldn't be able to join in, he may be offended even. In that moment the crush was completely wiped out.
I love my family dynamic. I love that we have so much fun together. It's what keeps us getting together on a monthly basis if not more. We LOVE to hang out with each other. There is never a dull moment. Last night I was driving home from dinner and I was just thinking about different things that were said, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I drove.
I lucked out in the family department.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


So most people have a "type". That particular look they always seem to like. That particular genre of person they prefer to date. All "types" are different and I like to think that most people don't HAVE to date within that type, but just find themself doing that more often than not.
This is fine, it's normal, it's common. Me? I don't have a physical type. If you were to line up the guys I have dated/been interested in, they range like CRAZY as far as physical appearance goes, but as far as personality goes they are all pretty similar. I am a personality snob, and if the guy has it I am typically attracted to it right away, a lot of times regardless of how "hot" they may be.
Ok that is not really the point. The point is, I know I don't fit into every guy's "type" that's fine. BUT don't hit on me, then tell me I'm not your type, then continue to hit on me.
Yes there is a story behind this...
A few years ago I was trying out a new ward with my friend Katie. We were at ward prayer and this kid came up to us and talked to us for a while flirting pretty heavily with both of us. Side note: Katie has brown hair, I am blonde and he had red hair. He goes on to tell us his rating system. This is how the conversation went from there.
Dude-I base girls on a 1-10 scale based on hair color. Red heads are either 1-3 range or 8-10 range. They are either really unfortunate looking or really hot. Blondes range from about 4-9 it's not often you meet one that is really unattractive, but they'll never be a 10 in my book (HA remember how I'm blonde and he just said that to me?) Brunettes can span the scale from 1-10.
Me- did you really just say blondes can never be a 10? You do realize you're saying this to a blonde right?
Dude- Well I mean you could be up to a 9...
Me- But I'll never be a 10 to you. Why would I ever go out with someone who I knew would never see me as a 10 when I knew that I could find someone else who would?
Dude-well a lot of girls are never actually 10's so being a 9 is still really good. Plus you could always dye your hair.
Me- Or I could just find the guy who would think I'm a 10 as I am.

Ok here's the thing. I am sure a lot of guys would agree with him. Some guys are brunette guys, some guys prefer blondes. That is fine, BUT DON'T TELL THE GIRL THAT if she's not the one you prefer! ESPECIALLY if you are wanting to ask her out. I knew he was more interested in my friend but it was pretty clear he was the kind of guy that would just take what he could get, so he was being just as flirty with both of us to see who, if either, which ended up being neither, would bite. Idiot.
As mentioned before this was a few years ago, and I don't see him often, but I have seen him a couple of times over the years and every time he tries to be all flirty again. Sorry dude you didn't have much of a chance to begin with and you nailed that door shut yourself.
Man... some guys have no tact.