Thursday, March 15, 2012

Small and Simple Things...

It's been a while. I've noticed that when I'm in the midst of dating someone I don't really post, because everything is so current that I worry about the guy stumbling across the blog and freaking out. That being said, I have no fear of that at the moment.

This post is dedicated to the little things in dating. The things that can usually go undone and be fine, but when they are done they leave an impact.

The first one that comes to mind is simply asking me to dinner. I mentioned that to a friend and her response was, "How do guys usually ask you out?" When I thought about why I liked being asked to dinner I realized that it really doesn't happen that often. Yes, we more often than not GO to dinner, but the asking is usually something along the lines of, "Yeah we should hang out sometime..." or, "Oh you like to do that too, we should do that together sometime..." or, "A group of us are doing this you should come along." In all of those options and many similar, it's the guy suggesting it, but not actually asking. Your reaction to any of those is what will determine whether or not he follows through to actually ask you, therefore taking some of the pressure off himself. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that is a bad thing, it's perfectly fine, BUT to have a guy call me, somewhat unexpectedly and say, "I'd like to take you to dinner" or even saying, "I'd like to take you out" denotes a sense of chivalry, courage, and respect that he will get bonus points for. When I pointed this out to my friend and my roommates, they all agreed, as I think most women would.

The second is doing the classic textbook dating things. Opening my door, pulling out my chair, standing on the outside when walking on the sidewalk. I had a guy do that once, I didn't even realize it was something I cared about and prior to this I didn't, but we were walking on a sidewalk and I was walking on the side next to the street, he subtly grabbed me and moved me over and took my spot and we just kept walking, totally surprised me, and I felt totally protected when I was with him. That is one thing that has made it to my list. Feeling safe with the guy. That showed me he would protect me.

Along with that list, is one that I think we all find really awkward, but I've learned it is a must. Walking the girl to the door at the end of the date.
I recently went on a date, that was great. The whole night was great. We totally hit it off. The conversation flowed so easily, we had so much to talk about. It was originally just going to be dinner (he was one guy that asked if he could take me to dinner... bonus points). Afterward we were driving back and he asked if I needed to get back right away, I didn't so we kept hanging out. Everything was textbook with a few surprises and bonus points for him. At the end of the night we finished our conversation in his car, and he says, "Well thanks for coming out with me..." I thanked him back and got out of the car. He didn't get out of the car. Didn't hug me goodbye. I get that we all hate the doorstep scene, especially on a first date, but I learned it's CRUCIAL! He didn't do it and it totally left me wondering where I went wrong. The rest of the date was AWESOME, I thought. I asked some of my guy friends if they would ever not walk a girl to the door and all of them said NEVER! Something so easy, something SO textbook. Something so small can ruin things if you don't do it.
In response I didn't send the post-date text...

Small and simple things can sometimes mean the most, good OR bad!