Ok so about two weeks ago I went to a bon fire with some friends. I got to talking to a guy there for a while and we got along pretty well. He got my number before he left and we talked about going climbing together. The following week he called me to ask me out on a date.
To all the older generation this sounds pretty typical, (outside of the texting). Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl on a date. Seems pretty simple. NAY!!! This happens so infrequently these days, the new system is. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy tries to be in places girl might be, social gatherings and what not, boy flirts with other girls to make girl jealous, girl flirts with boy, boy gets scared and backs off, girl then moves on to other guys, boy gets jealous, boy flirts with girl, girl starts to like boy, boy freaks out and runs away.
This is why dating sucks. It is so hard to get anywhere with anyone. This guy asking me out was so refreshing. It was so easy. We're not getting married, we're not "committing" to each other. We just had a good conversation and want to get to know each other more. Is that so frightening?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
How To Make a Good First Impression
HAHA You must not know me well if you actually thought I could write a blog on that topic. I NEED HELP!!!
I have mentioned before my "Angry Eyes". The scowl that is so naturally placed on my face at almost all times. It's really causing some issues in my dating life...
It's interesting how that little scowl can define the person that you are, but so differently depending on appearance.
When I was younger I was "slightly" more "robust" than I am now, add that to a scowl, and you are a scary individual, frightening all those from small children to adults. Everyone that really knew me loved me because I was sweet as can be, and just a riot if you wanna know the truth. However, those that didn't know me, and weren't around me much didn't take the time to get to know me because, well I don't know if I would have approached a large scowly faced person and expect pleasantries. So for all I know there are people who I crossed paths with all those many years who got that impression of me, and I never had the chance to correct it. That honestly bothers me, but there's not much I can do about it.
Now as a less robust adult still with the scowl I seem to give off the impression that I am a snot. A stuck up intimidating girl who doesn't really care. I don't know which is worse.
The thing is I know what I need to do to change that "first impression" but they are habits that are very hard to break. AKA not scowling, not standing with my arms folded, being less sarcastic... what have you.
I will tell you what though, I have had enough of people telling me, "You totally look like a snot right now. When I first met you I thought you were a total(insert offensive term here). I was really intimidated by you when I first met you. I'm sure guys find you really intimidating." That last one is the kicker, and the reason for the blog post.
I have been told time and time again that I am the type of girl that comes across really intimidating. For good reasons and bad. Good: I have a good job, I take care of myself, I am talented (in some areas)... BAD: My natural look of death, my posture, my sarcasm.
There are some seriously ridiculous judgements that have been made on me because of the way I look. 1) I wear heels nearly every day, that does not make me high maintenance. Heels are cute and they do wonders for the legs, I have good legs, why wouldn't I wear heels? Plus I can walk in them, not all girls can, so instead of seeing someone who spends too much money on something like that and must be high maintenance because of it, you should think of me as caring about her appearance, and talented. 2)I have very blond hair. I'm not sorry that my natural hair color is blond, just because it is, doesn't mean that I am a ditz, unintelligent, flighty, or flaky, yet that is how it is perceived a lot of the time. 3) I scowl. I have no explanation for that, just get over it because I don't know how to stop. 4)I get pedicures. Another thing that has made me seem high maintenance. Ok seriously guys? I am doing you a favor with this one. No dude wants a girl with rough, cracky feet and yellow toenails. I don't have those things. You're welcome.
So to all the guys,(who most certainly won't read this blog or be affected by it's profound truths therefore wanting to take me from this life of dating and make me theirs) this is what you are missing out on by believing that false first impression.
I am a girl who cares deeply for the people in her life and would do almost anything to make them happy. I am a girl who loves to play sports and be outside, try new things, and be taught new things. I love to laugh, and to make people laugh, and I daresay I am dang good at that. I love pushing myself and achieving new goals. I am determined and dedicated and a very hard worker. I am someone who is not afraid of a challenge. I am in LOVE with the gospel of Jesus Christ and try to do all I can to show that in my daily life. I have worked hard my whole life and because of that have a great job that I excel in. If there is something I am passionate about I pursue it, until I am successful in it. I am someone who lived a very hard life full of pain and heartache, but was determined enough to change that and did, and now am determined to help people like I was and change their lives as well. I have been blessed to have SO MANY amazing friends and that is because I want to be friends with everyone. That is me, in a nutshell.
If only a first impression could show that to people. I wonder how things could be different.
I have mentioned before my "Angry Eyes". The scowl that is so naturally placed on my face at almost all times. It's really causing some issues in my dating life...
It's interesting how that little scowl can define the person that you are, but so differently depending on appearance.
When I was younger I was "slightly" more "robust" than I am now, add that to a scowl, and you are a scary individual, frightening all those from small children to adults. Everyone that really knew me loved me because I was sweet as can be, and just a riot if you wanna know the truth. However, those that didn't know me, and weren't around me much didn't take the time to get to know me because, well I don't know if I would have approached a large scowly faced person and expect pleasantries. So for all I know there are people who I crossed paths with all those many years who got that impression of me, and I never had the chance to correct it. That honestly bothers me, but there's not much I can do about it.
Now as a less robust adult still with the scowl I seem to give off the impression that I am a snot. A stuck up intimidating girl who doesn't really care. I don't know which is worse.
The thing is I know what I need to do to change that "first impression" but they are habits that are very hard to break. AKA not scowling, not standing with my arms folded, being less sarcastic... what have you.
I will tell you what though, I have had enough of people telling me, "You totally look like a snot right now. When I first met you I thought you were a total(insert offensive term here). I was really intimidated by you when I first met you. I'm sure guys find you really intimidating." That last one is the kicker, and the reason for the blog post.
I have been told time and time again that I am the type of girl that comes across really intimidating. For good reasons and bad. Good: I have a good job, I take care of myself, I am talented (in some areas)... BAD: My natural look of death, my posture, my sarcasm.
There are some seriously ridiculous judgements that have been made on me because of the way I look. 1) I wear heels nearly every day, that does not make me high maintenance. Heels are cute and they do wonders for the legs, I have good legs, why wouldn't I wear heels? Plus I can walk in them, not all girls can, so instead of seeing someone who spends too much money on something like that and must be high maintenance because of it, you should think of me as caring about her appearance, and talented. 2)I have very blond hair. I'm not sorry that my natural hair color is blond, just because it is, doesn't mean that I am a ditz, unintelligent, flighty, or flaky, yet that is how it is perceived a lot of the time. 3) I scowl. I have no explanation for that, just get over it because I don't know how to stop. 4)I get pedicures. Another thing that has made me seem high maintenance. Ok seriously guys? I am doing you a favor with this one. No dude wants a girl with rough, cracky feet and yellow toenails. I don't have those things. You're welcome.
So to all the guys,(who most certainly won't read this blog or be affected by it's profound truths therefore wanting to take me from this life of dating and make me theirs) this is what you are missing out on by believing that false first impression.
I am a girl who cares deeply for the people in her life and would do almost anything to make them happy. I am a girl who loves to play sports and be outside, try new things, and be taught new things. I love to laugh, and to make people laugh, and I daresay I am dang good at that. I love pushing myself and achieving new goals. I am determined and dedicated and a very hard worker. I am someone who is not afraid of a challenge. I am in LOVE with the gospel of Jesus Christ and try to do all I can to show that in my daily life. I have worked hard my whole life and because of that have a great job that I excel in. If there is something I am passionate about I pursue it, until I am successful in it. I am someone who lived a very hard life full of pain and heartache, but was determined enough to change that and did, and now am determined to help people like I was and change their lives as well. I have been blessed to have SO MANY amazing friends and that is because I want to be friends with everyone. That is me, in a nutshell.
If only a first impression could show that to people. I wonder how things could be different.
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