I figured out why I'm going crazy! (read the last blog for this to make sense)
Ok so back in December I went on a couple of dates with this guy. Great guy, but for whatever reason I wasn't interested in anything happening. We ended things, and he was super great about it. Over the next 6 months I continued to think about him and at the end of May we started going out again. This time I was interested in seeing where things would go.
It didn't go very far, his choice this time, but that experience was totally new for me. I had never gone back to a guy I previously ended things with, and this opened up a world of questions.
I think that's why I'm thinking back on all these guys. Wondering if I were to try again this time if things would be different like they were with the other guy.
I am going to do my darndest to continue with this sabbatical for a little while. I think I just need time. I need to not make any wrash decisions. I think I need some me time, but I can tell, my brain will be working on overdrive the whole time.
As per usual.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Driving myself crazy!!!
Ok... so for about the last 8 months I have constantly been dating someone. Short-lived as each of the relationships may have been, I have always been with someone.
I got fed up a couple weeks ago. Fed up of not being interested in fantastic guys who liked me, and fed up with being interested in guys that didn't like me.
So I decided to take a break.
Here's the thing. I have become quite accustomed to having someone around. Having someone to call, someone to see. It has been ONE WEEK since the last one ended and I am going crazy. Thinking of all the guys that I let go of, wondering if I shouldn't have, wondering if I should have given them more of a chance, wondering if I should call them up and try again.
I know how I felt at the time when it ended, but was I just freaking out? Would it have gotten better? Was I stupid to let them go? Seriously, in my mind right now I am thinking of 3 different guys that I ended things with, that I'm now wondering if I should give it another chance, and those are just who come to mind right away, if I thought about it longer, I'm sure I could add at least 3 more to that list.
To add insult to injury I read this quote on someone's facebook page,
I got fed up a couple weeks ago. Fed up of not being interested in fantastic guys who liked me, and fed up with being interested in guys that didn't like me.
So I decided to take a break.
Here's the thing. I have become quite accustomed to having someone around. Having someone to call, someone to see. It has been ONE WEEK since the last one ended and I am going crazy. Thinking of all the guys that I let go of, wondering if I shouldn't have, wondering if I should have given them more of a chance, wondering if I should call them up and try again.
I know how I felt at the time when it ended, but was I just freaking out? Would it have gotten better? Was I stupid to let them go? Seriously, in my mind right now I am thinking of 3 different guys that I ended things with, that I'm now wondering if I should give it another chance, and those are just who come to mind right away, if I thought about it longer, I'm sure I could add at least 3 more to that list.
To add insult to injury I read this quote on someone's facebook page,
The mantle of spinsterhood was definitely on her shoulders now. She was twenty-five and looked it, and so there was no longer any need for her to try to be attractive.Thank you Gone With The Wind.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Blog Stalker
Ok so I read blogs from time to time. I see interesting titles of people on my sister's or friend's pages so I go to that blog and read it. Some of them I have grown quite accustomed to reading and enjoy to thoroughly. Almost like waiting for the next episode of a show you love. I check regularly to see if they have written a new post.
There is one blog in particular that I love. I don't really know why but I like it. She writes a lot, it's always interesting, she has cute decorating, hair, clothes ideas that I think one day I might mimick. It's just an interesting blog.
Anyhoo she posts pictures regularly and so I know what she looks like.
The other day (month whatever) I was at the local gymnasium working on my svelt physique (too much?) and she walked in. I almost said hi to her before I realized we have never actually met, she would have no idea who I am, and if I were to say "oh hey, yeah you're friends with my sister, and she has your blog on her blog, so I read it once and now I like it a lot, so I that's why I know who you are, I know all about you actually, your style, your boyfriend your brothers. I know a lot about you, wanna be friends? Wait... where are you going? I swear I'm not creepy, I just think you're neat. CALL ME!" Yeah I thought that could be mis-construed.
I feel like a creeper.
There is one blog in particular that I love. I don't really know why but I like it. She writes a lot, it's always interesting, she has cute decorating, hair, clothes ideas that I think one day I might mimick. It's just an interesting blog.
Anyhoo she posts pictures regularly and so I know what she looks like.
The other day (month whatever) I was at the local gymnasium working on my svelt physique (too much?) and she walked in. I almost said hi to her before I realized we have never actually met, she would have no idea who I am, and if I were to say "oh hey, yeah you're friends with my sister, and she has your blog on her blog, so I read it once and now I like it a lot, so I that's why I know who you are, I know all about you actually, your style, your boyfriend your brothers. I know a lot about you, wanna be friends? Wait... where are you going? I swear I'm not creepy, I just think you're neat. CALL ME!" Yeah I thought that could be mis-construed.
I feel like a creeper.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Proper Cartwheel Form...
I am realizing that this post is LONG over-due. It is a story I have told and retold and never ceases to disappoint.
Nearly 10 years ago I was at my Alma Mater (can it be an Alma Mater if you only went for one year?) Utah State University. Oh how I loved my time there. I made some amazing friends that I will have for the rest of my life. We may not see each other often, we may not talk often, but when we do, it's like we were never apart.
Among those friends was a girl named Sarah Mae Smith (now Bindrup but I'll always refer to her as Mae Flower). To this day she is one of the sweetest girls I've ever known, not to mention beautiful and smart. I feel the need to inflate her a bit because the story I'm about to tell... well, it's awesome.
One day we were all sitting in the lounge of the Valley View Tower 2nd floor lobby (aka the lobby of our dorm) just talking, laughing and having a good time.
In the corner of my eye I noticed Mae Flower standing by the hall raising her hands HIGH above her head, as though she was reaching for the ceiling.
This raised my suspicions a tad so I asked,
Nearly 10 years ago I was at my Alma Mater (can it be an Alma Mater if you only went for one year?) Utah State University. Oh how I loved my time there. I made some amazing friends that I will have for the rest of my life. We may not see each other often, we may not talk often, but when we do, it's like we were never apart.
Among those friends was a girl named Sarah Mae Smith (now Bindrup but I'll always refer to her as Mae Flower). To this day she is one of the sweetest girls I've ever known, not to mention beautiful and smart. I feel the need to inflate her a bit because the story I'm about to tell... well, it's awesome.
One day we were all sitting in the lounge of the Valley View Tower 2nd floor lobby (aka the lobby of our dorm) just talking, laughing and having a good time.
In the corner of my eye I noticed Mae Flower standing by the hall raising her hands HIGH above her head, as though she was reaching for the ceiling.
This raised my suspicions a tad so I asked,
"Sarah... what are you doing?"Very sweetly and innocently she replied,
Well... I want to do a cartwheel, but I'm afraid I'm going to kick the ceiling."Bless her heart. Bless her beating heart. I smiled and said,
"If you can stand like this (and reach my hands high above my head) and not touch the ceiling, you'll be fine."It was in this moment, she dropped her hands to her side, frustratingly placed them on her hips, scowled at me like I was an idiot and said,
"Uh... your legs are longer!"Bless her ever-loving, beating heart. All I said in return was,
"You're right."
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Getting Spiritual...
I just heard a guy I work with answer his phone and talk to his daughter. She called because a fire truck was behind her with it's sirens on and she didn't have anywhere to go and didn't know what to do so she called daddy. I thought, "TOTALLY something I would do." which lead me to this story.
A buncha years ago, the Sanders family had a reunion in Las Vegas. One night all the cousins wanted to go to the strip... do the rollercoasters andwhathaveyou ;). So we piled into a bunch of cars and made our way down. After doing the roller coasters, a select few of us wanted to go back to the hotel. I had to drive because my parent's van was one of the cars and I was the only one able to drive back.
I don't like driving in places I am not familiar with, and VEGAS is not a good place to start. So crowded and I didn't know where I was going.
This was before the time of smart phones so I didn't have GPS available. We started driving and the other passengers in the car were emmersed in conversation, and it didn't take long for me to realize I was totally lost. I drove along looking for something that looked familiar. Asked the other passengers if they knew where we were, they didn't and continued with their conversation. I started getting really scared. I wanted to call my dad, but it was like midnight, and I didn't want to wake him up.
Silently I prayed for help. Prayed for some street sign or something that looked familiar. I prayed to get back safely and not alarm the other passengers. Within seconds my phone rings... it was my dad.
I answer the phone and he says this, "Hey Jules, I was just getting ready to go to bed and felt like I should call you and see how you were."
I said, "Oh I'm fine just driving home." I really don't know what I was thinking but then I remembered I was totally lost and said, "Wait NO, I'm lost and don't know how to get back"
Then he gave me step by step directions to get home and stayed with me on the phone the whole time.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was prompted by the spirit to call me. For all he knew I was still out hanging out with all of my cousins, there was no way for him to know I was scared and trying to drive home.
I will never forget that experience and it will always remind me that I am never alone. It will also remind me that my dad is in tune with the spirit and I trust that as much as I trust him.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Just a Number?
Oh boy... 28 has never felt as old as it did last night...
I have this dear friend Paige. We have been good friends for a long time now. We don't see each other as much as we used to, but we try to get together every now and again.
Last night she invited me to this party some of her mission friends were having. Paige just got home from her mission about 10 months ago, she is a year older than me, I was just excited to see her, it didn't bother me that we'd be hanging out with some fresh off the mish boys.
Oh boy... OH BOY!!!
Granted most of the guys were great, guys I could see myself being friends with. BUT I FELT SO OLD!!! The things they talked about, one kid talking about his first date post-mish. Talking about how they are excited about this really exciting promising job that is "Network Marketing..." Aka MLM... aka Pyramid scheme, where I'd think, "Oh the things that 21 year olds buy into."
I do not miss being that age.
The point. There was one child, bless his soul, who found out I was 28 and said, "That's ok" like it's something he had to comfort me about.
Once he found that out, that is how he would introduce me to people. "This is Julia, she's 28." There was ONE guy there who was 28 as well, and he introduced us like it was fate that we were both there. THE STARS HAVE ALIGNED!!!! YOU ARE BOTH 28, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE THE ONE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR ONE AND ONLY!!!!!!!!!! Honestly I should have taken him, clearly 28 these days is similar to leprosy the chances of finding someone else as seriously stricken as I am, I should grab him up and never let go.
The best part.
The infant continuously put his foot in his mouth throughout the night, but at one point he said something, which I don't even remember, but I remember laughing at his idiocy, and one of his friends (a normal human) looked at him and was like, "Dude, don't say that to a girl." To which the fetus responds, "Come on, she's 28, I'm 22, clearly we're not going to date."
Oh son, you couldn't be more right, but trust me, it has NOTHING TO DO with the fact that I'm 28 and you're 22, and has everything to do with the fact that you are a ridiculous human being, who I don't feel like supporting for the rest of my life as you go from one MLM scheme to another.
I hope that kid get's married soon. He'll end up dating a 19 year old who sees him as wise and cultured, who has traveled the world and seen so much selling pest control and security.
Oh how happy I am to be out of that age range.
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