On Saturday I went on a blind date. In being set up with this guy, the common denominator with us was that we are both "snarky". Truthfully, that was a big seller for me, I love a sarcastic guy, I can handle it, and better yet they can handle me.
Anyway. We went to lunch and as happens on all first dates we starting talking about hobbies.
I started wondering if I should even tell him that I am a singer. I have a lot of other hobbies, and if we were going to continue to date he would figure that out really quickly, so should I bring it up?
The reason I question it is, when I get started talking about singing, I talk about it A LOT. I say things I probably shouldn't say, like the fact that it is a big priority in my life. That it's something I'll do for the rest of my life. That if a guy doesn't appreciate that about me it is likely the relationship won't last. That it would be difficult for me to leave Utah, because I would be giving up some singing opportunities that I am not really willing to give up. That I spend a lot of money on it. That I spend a lot of time on it.
I did talk about it, and I did talk about all that. I also mentioned that I remember in my early twenties the way my dad would guage my feelings about a guy would be that he would ask, "would you give up singing for him?" At the time, there were guys that I would give it up for, but as time as went on, as I've spent more time and money on singing than anything else in my life. As I've honed my skills and found my niche, if he were to ask me that now, I don't know what it would take for that answer to be "yes". Truthfully if I were ever to encounter a situation where it was to choose the guy or music, I wouldn't want to be with a guy I'd have to "give it up" for, and I can't imagine a guy would ever ask me to. But, leave Utah? There is a good chance that whoever I marry will need to work out of state, or something and that would be a big sacrifice for me. Yes I can sing anywhere, but I can't really pursue the music I want to pursue outside of Utah. I can't sing with my group, I can't sing with my duo. It would be a big sacrifice.
So that, all that, I can imagine that would be a lot to take in. I can imagine a guy would hear that and think, "Geeze, that's heavy stuff do I really want to get involved?". That is why I question even talking about it.
This date on Saturday, the look on his face, I could see a look of intimidation, I could see a look of, "That's intense" and I kind of regretted saying anything, and it made me want to keep it to myself in the future.
So my question is this, guys, what would you think about that? Would that scare you away, or intrigue you? Should I just keep my mouth shut?
This is a picture of my group, Mountain Blue, singing on a single's cruise we were hired for back in 2010.
I'm not a guy...so i'm probably not going to answer your question right. But I want to tell you that I know exactly how you feel! Where singing is just in you and it's something that will never die out.
ReplyDeleteI've found, however, that guys are usually impressed by it. I usually tell them that I like to sing, leave it at that then let them discover what I do on their own. Maybe invite them to a show. So, from my experience, I think guys would put it in the 'hot' factor. :)