One thing about being an introvert that is super inconvenient is the fact that I am also a singer and I LOVE to perform. That is one of the things people question when I tell them that I get social anxiety, "What? But you sing in front of thousands of people?" Singing in front of people is entirely different than standing amongst them. One thing that I have learned is that I am NOT comfortable being surrounded by people. I don't like having people behind me in a scenario that I can't easily move, like lines, or concerts or parties and the like. If you see me at a party, once it starts to get pretty crowded, I either leave or you can find me against a wall, or a pillar, or a table or something, I stand somewhere so people can't stand behind me.
So, last night I was asked to sing at a fireside with a guy I met here in AZ. I haven't had any opportunities to sing down here so I jumped on the opportunity. Once we got there and our song was over, I spent the majority of the fireside planning my exit strategy. We were sitting near the front row and I was planning the quickest way to get out so as to not be surrounded by people. I sat there thinking how inconvenient it is that I am an introvert that loves to perform. I love singing in front of people, but hate crowds. As long as I am in front of them I am good, but as soon as it's over and I need to talk to people, I get crazy anxiety.
That sounds so ridiculous, the only people that want to talk to me after are people that want to tell me I did well, and thank me, and you'd think one would be excited for that. I am grateful for those people, it does make me feel good to know they enjoyed it, but I just have a hard time talking to strangers (STRANGER DANGER)
So yes, last night, after I sang, I sat there planning my way out, and it was then that I thought, "Man being an introvert sucks!"
I can relate. I hate crowds too.
ReplyDeleteYou come from a long line of introverts (on one side anyway). Consider yourself lucky.
ReplyDeleteLove, Dad
I know how you feel 100%. I love the stage, but I don't really like going to concerts. When there's a lot of people it stresses me out. I've met a lot of performers who are like us, though. It's interesting. I've just had an experience where I was able to go on tour with some bigger musicians and I have a theory that the social pressure/anxiety they have is one of the reasons for the constant supply of alcohol.
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