Alright, this story begins about 3 months ago. Reader's digest version is, I had gone out with a guy, and was given the "Let's be friends" line. At the time, it was humorous to me, because I had been told that so many times. It was becoming the theme of my life.
I got together with my friend, and songwriting partner Jaycie Voorhies, and was telling her about it, and I thought, "I need to write a song about this, it just keeps happening". So we wrote the song "Just Friends". We laughed the whole time we were writing it, knowing that pretty much all single people would be able to relate to this story, because at one point or another we have all been through it.
Since then, I have become pretty good friends with said line giver, and have been singing the song at a lot of venues, and always thought, "If he hears this song, would he know he was sort of the muse behind it?" I didn't really want him to know, as I felt it didn't really apply to him.
Saturday Jaycie and I performed at an open mic night, which said line giver would be attending. I realized on the way there that I would be singing that song, and was afraid he would pick up on some similarities.
After our set I went down and talked to him and he didn't really say anything, just that he really enjoyed our set.
After the show my roommate Melissa and I went to his house and were hanging out with him and his roommate, and he started talking about the songs and he said, "One made me think... 'Gosh I hope I don't ever say that to a girl'" I smiled and looked at Melissa thinking, "He knows". I went into the kitchen to send her a text that said, "Um yeah, he knows it's about him" and then I sent the text TO HIM!!!!
As soon as I hit send, I saw his name and audibly started freaking out!!! I ran around in the kitchen not knowing what to do. I ran into the living room where we were hanging out and just thought, "How could I possible stop what is about to happen from happening?" All I could do was muster out the words, "Can I have your phone?" Right then, as though in slow motion, I see him reach into his pocket, at the notification of receipt of a text. I wanted to DIE! I just thought, "There is nothing I can do at this point." I was mortified. I was laughing so hard, just because I didn't know what else I could do. Everyone knew before he read the text what had just happened. All he said as he was opening it was, "This is gonna be awkward" Melissa was dying because she just knew what the content of the text would be. I was banging my fists against the wall thinking, "There is no way this just happened to me."
He read the text, and laughed, showed it to his roommate who laughed. I just said, "This is easily my most embarrassing moment." Melissa followed with, "Even I am embarrassed" To which said line giver said, "Raise of hands, who's not embarrassed here?"
The thing is I have sent inadvertant text messages before, but the receiver was never in the same room as me!!! It was horrible!!!
At one point I just said, through humiliation, "One day... we'll look back on this... and laugh." He said, "yeah, it'll be a while."
As the night went on, every once in a while I would replay the scenario and go red and start laughing again. I just could not believe I did that. Luckily by the end of the night, things were normal, and though, I am sure, we were all still thinking about it, we acted as though we weren't.
So there you have it folks. My most embarrassing moment
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Going Fishing
I am posting this one mainly for the ladies. My friend Jon Grover has a blog, and I am going to copy and paste his latest post. I think girls need to read this. I think it perfectly explains a guy's point of view. Enjoy:
For all those girls that are throwing themselves at guys, here is a hint: We like a challenge!
Most men like to go fishing, Why? Because we like the challenge of the catch! If all the fish jumped into the boat it would not be very fun. However, if we have to fight to catch the fish and finally catch it, that is the fish we will be putting on our mantel.
Yes, I am comparing women to fish. Women please don’t get offended by this. I’m just trying to make the point that you need to give the guy a challenge when it comes to winning your heart. Don’t pull the fishing rod out of his hand, because we don’t like to try to catch a fish that is uncatchable. Give some slack and show them you are interested, he will start to reel you in. Then give him tug at the line so that he knows he needs to continue to work at this before he gets to enjoy the victory of the catch.
Good stuff Jon. Good stuff.
For all those girls that are throwing themselves at guys, here is a hint: We like a challenge!
Most men like to go fishing, Why? Because we like the challenge of the catch! If all the fish jumped into the boat it would not be very fun. However, if we have to fight to catch the fish and finally catch it, that is the fish we will be putting on our mantel.
Yes, I am comparing women to fish. Women please don’t get offended by this. I’m just trying to make the point that you need to give the guy a challenge when it comes to winning your heart. Don’t pull the fishing rod out of his hand, because we don’t like to try to catch a fish that is uncatchable. Give some slack and show them you are interested, he will start to reel you in. Then give him tug at the line so that he knows he needs to continue to work at this before he gets to enjoy the victory of the catch.
Good stuff Jon. Good stuff.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Flirting
I consider myself to be a pretty artsy person. I am a singer, I love to draw and write and create things. There is one form of art that I am not proficient at, that is the art of flirting.
I believe it is an art form. Sometimes I watch people in amazement as they flirt, wishing I possessed those skills.
I am not a touchy person. Physical flirtation is near impossible for me. I once was interested in a guy, and I was talking to my friend Chris about what I needed to do to show that. He seemed interested but he was a very shy guy and would need to KNOW that I was not going to reject him... Chris told me that I needed to step up the physical flirtation. Touch his arm. That was his biggest advice. Touch his arm. I still don't understand this. I have heard this from several guys. What is it with the arm touch? I don't get it. I think it's just because it is universally known, if a girl touches your arm it's because she has been told that that is what you are supposed to do. So a guy gets the arm touch and knows it's intentional. Is that it? Is that the only reason, or is there some reaction that goes through a guy when his arm is touched by a female hand that sends some message to his brain that says, "You must date and marry this girl?" I digress... back to my point. It seems simple, so one day after church he and I were talking, for some time. We laughed, I smiled, I controlled my "angry eyes" (refer to previous post title "Angry Eyes" to understand this) but I could not get myself to touch his arm. The whole time I was thinking about it, "ok the next time he says something funny, just reach over and touch his arm, just slightly it's easy." I couldn't do it. We talked for a good twenty minutes and nothing. Chris had been watching the whole time, and he was appalled. I just can't do it, I feel like I'm trying too hard, or that it's obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing. There was one day I was talking to him, after church again, and he said something teasing me, so I grabbed his tie and pushed him a little. This was brilliant to me, I told Chris about it, so proud of myself, and he said that wouldn't work. What??? That's what ties are for! He said, the arm touch is much more effective. I got a second opinion on that one, because it seems to me the tie would be way more effective, but both dudes said the same thing. I don't get it. So anyway I suck at physical flirtation.
I am pretty good at flirting via text AKA the written word. I am a pretty witty person, especially if I have a little extra time to organize my thoughts, and prepare the most hilarious of things to say. Text messaging is great for me, that is when I am on my game. I am much better at flirting via text aka text message, than on the actual phone, so I prefer texting. Also you don't have to worry about them not responding well, in person that is awkward, whereas if they just don't text back you can tell yourself it's because they are busy or something, not that they think you are stupid.
I am also really good at flirting when I am not interested, which sucks. I do enjoy flirting, and if I feel like there is nothing at stake, then I am great at it. How lame is that? I can flirt like the best of them if I don't want anything to come from it.
I don't like being flirted with, just to flirt. That plays all sortsa games with my mind. I was talking to a guy recently, and we were flirting pretty heavily. It was thick! We talked for a good 20 minutes and the whole time it was clear there was something there. It was practically tangible. When the conversation was over and we said goodbye, I thought to myself, "Oh something is about to happen there." I turned to my friend and said, "He and I TOTALLY just had a moment." Then what happened you might ask? Nothing. That's right, not a dang thing. I haven't even heard from the guy since. That drives me nuts. Don't flirt like that unless you intend on following through.
Flirting, when it's good, it's really good, and I love it, I just need to learn how to control it. I think it comes down to confidence, flirting because you know you have something they want. I'm getting there.
I am fascinated watching people flirt. Watching how people react to being flirted with. I need to up my game. Practice makes perfect, I'm on it!
I believe it is an art form. Sometimes I watch people in amazement as they flirt, wishing I possessed those skills.
I am not a touchy person. Physical flirtation is near impossible for me. I once was interested in a guy, and I was talking to my friend Chris about what I needed to do to show that. He seemed interested but he was a very shy guy and would need to KNOW that I was not going to reject him... Chris told me that I needed to step up the physical flirtation. Touch his arm. That was his biggest advice. Touch his arm. I still don't understand this. I have heard this from several guys. What is it with the arm touch? I don't get it. I think it's just because it is universally known, if a girl touches your arm it's because she has been told that that is what you are supposed to do. So a guy gets the arm touch and knows it's intentional. Is that it? Is that the only reason, or is there some reaction that goes through a guy when his arm is touched by a female hand that sends some message to his brain that says, "You must date and marry this girl?" I digress... back to my point. It seems simple, so one day after church he and I were talking, for some time. We laughed, I smiled, I controlled my "angry eyes" (refer to previous post title "Angry Eyes" to understand this) but I could not get myself to touch his arm. The whole time I was thinking about it, "ok the next time he says something funny, just reach over and touch his arm, just slightly it's easy." I couldn't do it. We talked for a good twenty minutes and nothing. Chris had been watching the whole time, and he was appalled. I just can't do it, I feel like I'm trying too hard, or that it's obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing. There was one day I was talking to him, after church again, and he said something teasing me, so I grabbed his tie and pushed him a little. This was brilliant to me, I told Chris about it, so proud of myself, and he said that wouldn't work. What??? That's what ties are for! He said, the arm touch is much more effective. I got a second opinion on that one, because it seems to me the tie would be way more effective, but both dudes said the same thing. I don't get it. So anyway I suck at physical flirtation.
I am pretty good at flirting via text AKA the written word. I am a pretty witty person, especially if I have a little extra time to organize my thoughts, and prepare the most hilarious of things to say. Text messaging is great for me, that is when I am on my game. I am much better at flirting via text aka text message, than on the actual phone, so I prefer texting. Also you don't have to worry about them not responding well, in person that is awkward, whereas if they just don't text back you can tell yourself it's because they are busy or something, not that they think you are stupid.
I am also really good at flirting when I am not interested, which sucks. I do enjoy flirting, and if I feel like there is nothing at stake, then I am great at it. How lame is that? I can flirt like the best of them if I don't want anything to come from it.
I don't like being flirted with, just to flirt. That plays all sortsa games with my mind. I was talking to a guy recently, and we were flirting pretty heavily. It was thick! We talked for a good 20 minutes and the whole time it was clear there was something there. It was practically tangible. When the conversation was over and we said goodbye, I thought to myself, "Oh something is about to happen there." I turned to my friend and said, "He and I TOTALLY just had a moment." Then what happened you might ask? Nothing. That's right, not a dang thing. I haven't even heard from the guy since. That drives me nuts. Don't flirt like that unless you intend on following through.
Flirting, when it's good, it's really good, and I love it, I just need to learn how to control it. I think it comes down to confidence, flirting because you know you have something they want. I'm getting there.
I am fascinated watching people flirt. Watching how people react to being flirted with. I need to up my game. Practice makes perfect, I'm on it!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
How the Marrieds help the Singles
As mentioned in previous entries, I am 26 years old. Most of the people in my life these days are married. It is one thing to get dating advice from people who are single and know what you are going through, and can relate, it is something else to get dating advice from married people. I feel as though they have forgotten how bad it sucks sometimes. Even the recently married don't know what to say. I don't mean to sound upset by any means, it's still nice to get tips and help from people who love you and obviously did something right, but I'm beginning to hear the same thing over and over, and these tips don't help.
I have compiled a list of frequently used tips I have been given from people that are married, or in a successful relationship. Enjoy.
-"One day it will all be worth it" Um Chyeah, it better be, I don't want to finally get married and think, "Man I would stay single forever rather than be with this guy."
-"It'll come when you least expect it." How does one expect things less? I am 26 years old, I'm not exactly expecting it, so how do I expect it less so it can happen?
-"It'll come when you stop looking for it." Well I'm screwed.
-"Oh man, I remember going through that, I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore." Oh good, I'm so glad my life stories make you SO happy to not be dating.
-"You can do better" Well that's good to hear, now all the pain from being rejected/dumped is gone, good to know I was settling.
-"I never liked him anyway." Really? So now I will never know if you like the guy I'm dating for real or if you're just faking it. Awesome.
-"Every relationship will be a failure until it's not." True. That's promising, and not depressing at all.
Married people. I love you, and am happy for you, congratulations on being out of this. I appreciate that you want to help me, and make me feel better, just try to not use these lines.
-With Love
I have compiled a list of frequently used tips I have been given from people that are married, or in a successful relationship. Enjoy.
-"One day it will all be worth it" Um Chyeah, it better be, I don't want to finally get married and think, "Man I would stay single forever rather than be with this guy."
-"It'll come when you least expect it." How does one expect things less? I am 26 years old, I'm not exactly expecting it, so how do I expect it less so it can happen?
-"It'll come when you stop looking for it." Well I'm screwed.
-"Oh man, I remember going through that, I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore." Oh good, I'm so glad my life stories make you SO happy to not be dating.
-"You can do better" Well that's good to hear, now all the pain from being rejected/dumped is gone, good to know I was settling.
-"I never liked him anyway." Really? So now I will never know if you like the guy I'm dating for real or if you're just faking it. Awesome.
-"Every relationship will be a failure until it's not." True. That's promising, and not depressing at all.
Married people. I love you, and am happy for you, congratulations on being out of this. I appreciate that you want to help me, and make me feel better, just try to not use these lines.
-With Love
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A "Gem"
Ok so I have done the post about bad lines, this post is dedicated to one good line. Probably the best line ever used on me. It was given via instant message, and couldn't have been delivered any other way. I don't mention the names of dudes in this blog, so I will keep this one anonymous as well.
Well played my friend, well played.
Preface- prior to the line we were talking about nick-names, as we both could only think of negative ones for each other.
Me- Why don't you just stick to calling me Jules?
Him- I prefer Jewels
Him- Proverbs 3:15
I don't have the scriptures memorized so at this point I looked it up. It says, "She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared to her."
Me- (thinking "Holy Crap that was awesome")
Him- Who knew you could use the bible to flirt?
That one will go down in the books for sure! Guys, try to be original like this, because I'm still a little floored by it. It was creative, flattering, and freaking impressive!
I realize this is a short entry, but really, need I say more?
Well played my friend, well played.
Preface- prior to the line we were talking about nick-names, as we both could only think of negative ones for each other.
Me- Why don't you just stick to calling me Jules?
Him- I prefer Jewels
Him- Proverbs 3:15
I don't have the scriptures memorized so at this point I looked it up. It says, "She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared to her."
Me- (thinking "Holy Crap that was awesome")
Him- Who knew you could use the bible to flirt?
That one will go down in the books for sure! Guys, try to be original like this, because I'm still a little floored by it. It was creative, flattering, and freaking impressive!
I realize this is a short entry, but really, need I say more?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Dating Advice
Ok, To start this post I am about to sound a little vain, but I have to just say, that when it comes to giving dating advice, I am pretty awesome. I have advised many, and most of my friends on their relationships. I love that they all come to me, and I love that I feel like I am helping them. Sometimes I surprise myself at the advice I give, and how sound it is.
I take great pride in the fact that I can talk people through their relationships. Sometimes it's hard and trying, and it weighs on me to feel like I am the person holding these people up in the hard times, as that is typically when someone goes to someone for advice, but I love being the confidant. I love talking to people and helping them through what could be a very significant time in their lives.
That being said, when it comes to my own dating life, I am a complete dunce. I will be in a scenario, and for some reason all logical thinking goes racing out the window and the stupidity of the decisions I end up making rival that of crashing your car into a stationary pole or something, which I have also done so it's a fair comparison.
Say I am interested in a guy, but not much has happened yet, he seems interested but hasn't asked me out. The advice I would give, is to just be laid back. If he seems interested he will do something about it, don't be afraid to flirt, but let him make the move, it's his job to make the effort, and if he wants to go out with you he will make it happen.
I may think that, but that thought is fleeting and the next thing I know I have texted him, and facebook stalked him, and probably bore my soul to him effectively scaring him beyond control, and can look forward to the day where I see him with his wife, who knows about me, only because I'm the freak that terrified him to his very core.
I don't like not knowing where things lie in a relationship. I don't like waiting to see if he will do something. I have been "friends" with guys where I waited and waited for them to do something, and nothing ever happened and that is stupid. So now I don't wait anymore. If I spend time with a guy consistently, but it's not progressing, I get to a point where I need to know what's going on, and a conversation WILL be had, which is also stupid. In this situation my advice would be, don't shut the door on the situation, but don't hold on to it either. Date other people, give other people a chance, and if they end up asking you out, great, if not you have other people knocking at the door and other opportunities to pursue, nothing lost. There is no need to have some huge conversation, if he's not interested that will just be painful, and if he is he will do something about it. However, what I do is put us both in an awkward situation and tell them how I feel to see where they are at. My thought process being, if they are interseted great we can get going, if not, better I know now and move on, no point in waiting/hoping for something that will never happen. The problem with this is, it puts WAY too much pressure on a situation that doesn't need it. It puts the guy in an awkward place and makes me look like a moron, which isn't my favorite thing. Also it takes any control I may have had and murders it. Now the guy knows, they don't need to fight for me. They don't need to make any effort, I'm already interested, so the battle is won, and from my experience, even if they were interested that interest will dwindle now because there is no mystery.
See, I know what I should do, and I know what I will actually do. I know that what I will actually do I will regret, but I still do it, because I have no self-control. It's quite the debochle.
It may sound like I have this all figured out, that I know the error of my ways, and that I can move on and never look back on these sad sad dating years. To that I say PSSSSH! It'll happen again and again, but at least there will be many more blog entries to look forward to.
I take great pride in the fact that I can talk people through their relationships. Sometimes it's hard and trying, and it weighs on me to feel like I am the person holding these people up in the hard times, as that is typically when someone goes to someone for advice, but I love being the confidant. I love talking to people and helping them through what could be a very significant time in their lives.
That being said, when it comes to my own dating life, I am a complete dunce. I will be in a scenario, and for some reason all logical thinking goes racing out the window and the stupidity of the decisions I end up making rival that of crashing your car into a stationary pole or something, which I have also done so it's a fair comparison.
Say I am interested in a guy, but not much has happened yet, he seems interested but hasn't asked me out. The advice I would give, is to just be laid back. If he seems interested he will do something about it, don't be afraid to flirt, but let him make the move, it's his job to make the effort, and if he wants to go out with you he will make it happen.
I may think that, but that thought is fleeting and the next thing I know I have texted him, and facebook stalked him, and probably bore my soul to him effectively scaring him beyond control, and can look forward to the day where I see him with his wife, who knows about me, only because I'm the freak that terrified him to his very core.
I don't like not knowing where things lie in a relationship. I don't like waiting to see if he will do something. I have been "friends" with guys where I waited and waited for them to do something, and nothing ever happened and that is stupid. So now I don't wait anymore. If I spend time with a guy consistently, but it's not progressing, I get to a point where I need to know what's going on, and a conversation WILL be had, which is also stupid. In this situation my advice would be, don't shut the door on the situation, but don't hold on to it either. Date other people, give other people a chance, and if they end up asking you out, great, if not you have other people knocking at the door and other opportunities to pursue, nothing lost. There is no need to have some huge conversation, if he's not interested that will just be painful, and if he is he will do something about it. However, what I do is put us both in an awkward situation and tell them how I feel to see where they are at. My thought process being, if they are interseted great we can get going, if not, better I know now and move on, no point in waiting/hoping for something that will never happen. The problem with this is, it puts WAY too much pressure on a situation that doesn't need it. It puts the guy in an awkward place and makes me look like a moron, which isn't my favorite thing. Also it takes any control I may have had and murders it. Now the guy knows, they don't need to fight for me. They don't need to make any effort, I'm already interested, so the battle is won, and from my experience, even if they were interested that interest will dwindle now because there is no mystery.
See, I know what I should do, and I know what I will actually do. I know that what I will actually do I will regret, but I still do it, because I have no self-control. It's quite the debochle.
It may sound like I have this all figured out, that I know the error of my ways, and that I can move on and never look back on these sad sad dating years. To that I say PSSSSH! It'll happen again and again, but at least there will be many more blog entries to look forward to.
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