As mentioned in previous entries, I am 26 years old. Most of the people in my life these days are married. It is one thing to get dating advice from people who are single and know what you are going through, and can relate, it is something else to get dating advice from married people. I feel as though they have forgotten how bad it sucks sometimes. Even the recently married don't know what to say. I don't mean to sound upset by any means, it's still nice to get tips and help from people who love you and obviously did something right, but I'm beginning to hear the same thing over and over, and these tips don't help.
I have compiled a list of frequently used tips I have been given from people that are married, or in a successful relationship. Enjoy.
-"One day it will all be worth it" Um Chyeah, it better be, I don't want to finally get married and think, "Man I would stay single forever rather than be with this guy."
-"It'll come when you least expect it." How does one expect things less? I am 26 years old, I'm not exactly expecting it, so how do I expect it less so it can happen?
-"It'll come when you stop looking for it." Well I'm screwed.
-"Oh man, I remember going through that, I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore." Oh good, I'm so glad my life stories make you SO happy to not be dating.
-"You can do better" Well that's good to hear, now all the pain from being rejected/dumped is gone, good to know I was settling.
-"I never liked him anyway." Really? So now I will never know if you like the guy I'm dating for real or if you're just faking it. Awesome.
-"Every relationship will be a failure until it's not." True. That's promising, and not depressing at all.
Married people. I love you, and am happy for you, congratulations on being out of this. I appreciate that you want to help me, and make me feel better, just try to not use these lines.
-With Love
Sorry sis, there are only so many lines one can give when you keep going through the same thing over and over...and over again. Love you! And remember, one day this will all be worth it! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI am sure I have used just about every line you used for an example here. And I am not even married yet! I do recall on the woes of dating way to clearly, and I apologize if I have now become one of "those" :) But you can't say that most of those lines aren't true right> Cause we both know I went through hell and back to finally find a guy who was perfect for me. And I know it will be the same for you. I think hell is just like a right of passage or something. Either way I will on giving you genius dating advice.
ReplyDeleteTo the library....
Loves
Wanting something and not getting it is hard, hard, hard!! Always remember there are other fish in the sea. My Dad used that on me after a particularly sad breakup.
ReplyDeleteLove Mom
Oh other fish in the sea, forgot to mention that one. I appreciate all three of your comments, and the added advice. :) Jennie, you bring up a good point.
ReplyDeleteJulia, one day you will be married. You will have sons and daughters, they will start dating, and one of your daughters will come to you to ask you the secret to finding her eternal companion. It is because of what you are going through 'right now' that you will be able to take her hands in yours and share all the wisdom that years of trial and error have taught you; There is no silver bullet, no magic word, no one size fits all kind of an answer. Dating is a journey into the unkown, everyone eventually reaches their destination, but you will be truely fortunate if you learn to enjoy the paths that take you there.
ReplyDeleteDane
ps. Don't be too hard on her if she goes on to blog about how antiquated your advice was ;)
Dang, I'm only 20, but I have a huge fraction of married friends too. That is the exact same advice I get all the time. I just really don't want to get married yet, ha ha.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I love giving "It'll happen" advice! It's my favorite thing to do! I do love my husband, but truthfully I was mostly happy to lose my maiden name. Just remember: "When it's right, you'll just KNOW!" Ha ha ha! Of course, it's true, but it's the last thing you want to hear right now. Bleah.
ReplyDelete