Tuesday, October 8, 2013

General Conference

So... one thing I don't do very much is talk about my religious beliefs. I've always been the kind of person that wants people to know I love them no matter what, and don't want them to think I'm trying to force my religion on them or anything. I just fear making people feel uncomfortable so I never say anything.
Today I want to make it known that I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I have a strong testimony and faith in them and this weekend that was manifested to me even stronger.
This past weekend my church had our semi-annual general conference. It is a broadcast where the leaders of the church speak to us as a whole. It is broadcast to countries all over the world and translated into nearly 100 languages so every member/anyone who wants to can have it available to them.
When I was a kid I dreaded it. Actually probably until my mid 20's. It's 10 hours of talks and I used to just count the minutes until it was over.
I always heard that if you prayed beforehand for specific guidance, if you went into Conference with a prayer in your heart and a question in your mind, you would get an answer.
The first time I ever did that was April 2009. I won't go into specific detail of that time, but I will tell you I prayed for something specific and the very first talk given was a direct answer to my prayer. I remember being shocked! I felt like that time was Heavenly Father telling me, "this works, I'm showing you fast so you won't forget... I won't always answer in the first talk, but I will always answer." Ever since then I have looked forward to conference and just loved it and ever since then I have felt more guided and directed in my life because of the talks given.
This past weekend was a similar experience. I didn't have a specific question in mind, but lately I've just had this mindset of trying to improve myself. Trying to be the best version of myself. It's no secret that I want to get married and I'm trying to be the best I can to be worthy of the kind of guy I want to find. I just prayed for personal guidance.
One of the first talks given was by President Uchtdorf, the second counselor in the first presidency of the church. I know it struck nearly everyone, but one quote from his talk was, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." That was so powerful to me. We are all so quick to doubt and question the good, but we don't think about questioning the bad. I was thinking about it all day and then the strong thought came to me, "Doubt your flaws before you doubt your self worth" and it was like lightning struck. I am so quick to magnify my flaws and insecurities without thinking about all that I really have to offer. Ever since then, if I start to question myself or focus on a flaw I immediately think of that quote and right away think, "That's not even a big deal! I have so much more to offer than that." and honestly right away I feel more confident and self-assured.
I am human and as such will always be making mistakes and will never be perfect, but this reminded me that I am always working on that. I am always trying to be the best version of myself and that will always be a work in progress. That in and of itself is a strength of mine. I want to find someone who is flawed but trying. That's all we can really want right? I am that person. I am the kind of person I want to find. I would be lucky to find someone like me, flaws and all. This may be the first time I've ever thought that. That's pretty empowering.



2 comments:

  1. "I am the kind of person I want to find. I would be lucky to find someone like me, flaws and all."

    Perfect!

    Love you,

    Dad

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  2. Ditto ditto mcditto. Conference struck me like a 2x4 to the head. This was a conference not to be ignored. And it's amazing thing to think of yourself as the kind of person you'd want to be with. May the Lord bless you, you are a queen.

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